A Magical Life: Health, Wealth, and Weight Loss

Breast Cancer, A Hero's Journey with Grace De Angeli

December 07, 2022 Grace De Angeli Season 1 Episode 154
A Magical Life: Health, Wealth, and Weight Loss
Breast Cancer, A Hero's Journey with Grace De Angeli
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Show Notes Transcript

Today's guest, Grace De Angeli, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2018. In this episode, we'll visit about how she handled her cancer journey without letting the disease define her.

Grace and her husband used to own a 7-figure business. She kept up the facade of wealth, happiness, and abundance, but they lost everything. When she was diagnosed with cancer, she had to reevaluate who she was and how she was living her life. She released people pleasing, comfort eating, and chasing the next "carrot." 

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Magic Barclay:

Welcome back to a Magical Life. I'm your host, magic Barclay, and today I'm joined by Grace to Angel. Now, grace shares her biggest discoveries and life experiences through raw courage and transparency. Grace will lift the veil. Today on her personal healing and self-discovery journey, sharing the tools and resources that took her from almost taking her own life to becoming a breast cancer survivor. She lives happily and purposefully and has become the hero of her own breast cancer journey. Welcome, grace.

Grace De Angeli:

Thank you so much. It's so great to be.

Magic Barclay:

My absolute pleasure and oh my goodness. Another Australian accent. Yeah,

Grace De Angeli:

you gotta, you gotta love us Aussies

Magic Barclay:

We're very strong people, aren't we? I almost said that in a very Australian way.

Grace De Angeli:

Yeah. Well, the thing is, I think in a country like ours, you, you tend to become resilient, you know, and you tend to sort of, you know, understand that if you wanna survive, you gotta do what you gotta.

Magic Barclay:

Very much so. Now, grace. On this podcast, I ask my guests the same three questions, and the diversity in answers is always. Astounding and amazing. So here they come. You ready? Yes. So my first question is, what can your expertise do to accelerate health? Not just the physical, but emotional and spiritual?

Grace De Angeli:

Well, the thing is, when I, um, when I went on my actual journey and, you know, through breast cancer, what I did is I learned that, one of the things that we tend not to actually heal ourselves is, is the spiritual side, is the psychological side of things. so what I did is I did a lot of internal selfs searching. I did a lot healing internally in the sense, you know, I got rid of a lot of trauma. Anger, resentment, jealousy, things like that. So what I do now is I speak a lot about, how you can help yourself do that. We've all got some sort of baggage that we carry with us. And what I tell people is start by loving yourself. And I think the biggest. Asset that I got is knowing that I can stand in front of the mirror now any given day, look at myself in the mirror and say, I love you, grace. I love you so much and I have your back and nothing, I'm never gonna leave you and nothing's ever gonna happen to you cuz I'm right here for you. And I think that was the biggest thing that I got. Everything. And the moment you can say that to yourself, I think it really, really, uh, opens a lot. It opens a lot of gateways, a lot of internal healing and things like that. So I think that's my biggest one that I, I got out of it. Definitely.

Magic Barclay:

We both have had a cancer journey and we've kind of named this podcast. Breast Cancer Hero's journey. And you've just shared a couple of things of how to create your hero's journey, but let's just go back quickly to getting a cancer diagnosis. I know I felt like I was, you know, the girl out of the exorcist with my head spinning around on my shoulders, 360 how do you go from that to a hero's journey like you've just told us a little bit. But what for you was that point in time where you go, you know, I'm not my diagnosis, I can survive.

Grace De Angeli:

Yeah. And, uh, okay, so I was diagnosed in uh, 2018. I was actually on my way to meet up with my husband who was in Peru doing some, uh, medicine char work in the jungles of Peru. So I was sort of, he was finishing off his, you know, his journey there. And we were gonna travel Peru when I got diagnosed. And I remember them saying, oh, you gotta get an biopsy. Cuz I was doing, yearly checkups. so I left there thinking, well, okay, there's something going on. But what helped was, I was doing a lot of healing already and what it was, it was changing my mindset cuz I thought, well, I'm in this holiday, if I think about this, you know, biopsy, I'm gonna have to get done. I'm not gonna enjoy my holiday. So I thought, right. Back end, I guess, is the fact that I sort of said to myself, you know what? I can't allow this to get to me right now cause I don't know what's going on. Cuz I was thinking that's nothing cuz they sort of said to me, look, you know, 99% of the chance it's just the fatty tissue. Things like that. So I, I sort of went on my holidays thinking that, and while I was actually in Peru, I started to do a lot of healing in myself and I knew straight away that the, the life I was living. Truly who I was. So that's what started me to start changing the way I was thinking. I was more of a people pleaser, and things like that. And I was always telling people, well, you know, whatever you want. To the point where my husband, oh yeah, you go on your spiritual journey, I'll run our business. We had a, a, a construction business that we grew to over seven figures. And we had 22 staff now literally two days before. Definitely diagnosed with breast cancer. we lost everything. So I think it was that moment that my husband sort of said, you know, I don't know what's gonna happen, but we're gonna get through this. So it was my start of changing the mindset and I kept saying to myself, no matter what, I'm gonna get through this. This is not me. I am not my cancer. I never said to myself, oh, well, you know, you know what, grace, you know you've got cancer now. No, it never defined me and I, it takes a lot to do that. And the first thing I had to do is love myself. I really had to learn to love myself and to speak up, use the throat cha I guess, because I was always keeping things internally and. When people ask, you know, were you surprised you got cancer? Of course I was, but was I surprised I had cancer? No, I wasn't, because when I think of what I was going through, I left all my traumas. I'd never dealt with my traumas in the past. You know, we all think, oh yeah, I dealt with whatever happened to me when I was a kid. I dealt with whatever happened to me as an adult. But if you don't really truly deal with it, it comes back to haunt you or it sits in the back. And what was happening is I had all these. Things that I hadn't dealt with. I had so much hate, resentment, jealousy, you name it, I had it. So that was me changing and slowly I just had to start building my mindset. I started meditating. I started doing a lot of journaling, you know, really talking. What is going on? What, why are you so sad? Grace, why are you so angry? Grace? So I was bringing a lot of things to the surface and I think that's what really helped me through the journey. And, you asked the question, you know, so what got you from the beginning to your hero's journey? And that was me. Taking a giant step back, doing a lot of research and seeing what was good for me. A lot of people think, oh, just be positive. Just be positive. No, I wasn't just being positive. I was, I had a clear mindset that I thought, I'm not, I've got too much going on. And I say to people that I used to use my breast cancer like a handbag. I'm taking you with me. I still got things to do. You're just coming with me. You know? Um, and that's how I started to heal myself and to get through it knowing that, you know what, no matter what happens, this too shall pass. You will get through this grace and you take it one day at a time, one step at a time. So that's basically what I, I started to do on my. So I hope that answered your question,

Magic Barclay:

It does. And look, I love that answer cuz I felt the same. You know, it was like, no, I've got too much to do. This can't win now I don't have time for this. Like this is not who I am. And I think that was key for my survival was going I am not my cancer. Mm. It is that really ugly handbag that just has to come with me. Yeah.

Grace De Angeli:

Yeah. And I also use a metaphor and I say, well, if you break your arm, you don't disconnect your arm and leave it at home. You just learn how to take a different shower. You learn how to put on your clothes a little bit different. That two shall pass. And that's what it was. It was like having a broken arm. It's okay, you're coming with me. I've still got things to do. You know, you don't go, oh, I can't, I. Eat cuz I've got a broken arm. I can't shop cuz I got a broken arm. You could do still everything. So it was a matter of understanding that this isn't who you are, it's part of your journey. And that's why I called it the Breast Cancer Heroes journey cuz everyone goes through a journey in life. And this was just another journey in mind.

Magic Barclay:

We talk about wealth here as well, grace. Mm-hmm. So wealth, we're not just talking financial, but also the emotional and spiritual wealth. So what are your top three tips to creating wealth?

Grace De Angeli:

When we think of it spiritually or or financially, the thing is, I actually did have the finance, I had a seven figure plus company. I was, I was driving around in a, you know, in a quarter of a million dollar car. You know, I had the handbags, I had everything. And that actually, Was a, a facade for me. You know, I could say for me that was a facade. So now when I say I'm spiritual because I actually know who I am, that's the biggest thing that I got out of it. So spiritually, I know who I am. I love myself so much that I know where I stand within myself, and I think that is the biggest thing that I took out of it, is knowing that You are the best version of yourself. I am not trying to be anyone else. I'm not trying to be better than anyone else. I'm trying to be the best version of myself. And when I started to do that, everything else just sort of breaks away. You know, you, you get rid of all those facades, all those masks. Masks were flying off me, because I started being me, to the point where I know you can't physically see me. But I, you know, a funny story was I happened to cut my hair the same time I got diagnosed. So a lot of people assumed it was the cancer, but I used to, I used to have long blonde hair with hair extensions. I've got thick hair and hair extensions. My hair were always braided, always made, always done. Now my hair is completely short and I've got gray. So, you know what I mean? It was letting go of the facade. So I think I'm spiritual knowing that, you know what, I've got this. No matter what life is thrown at us, I've got this, it's okay. You know what I mean? I, I'm gonna be okay. I'm gonna be okay. So, and it's, it's learning how to see what's happening in your life. It's not ignoring it, it's not pushing it on a side. It's seeing what's happen. Feel the emotion, feel what's going on in your body, and then addressing that. Don't judge it. Just look at it and say, right, I understand what you're trying to do here. you know, I'm not gonna let you get that. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna let you, make me feel, I'm not gonna let you make me feel, you know, jealous or resentful. You look. And that's the, biggest wealth I got and I, I am full of wealth, not financially, but spiritually and psychologically. I am at the best part of my life ever, ever. I'm 50, when I was diagnosed at 47, and I have probably lived the last four years, the. Best version of myself ever, and I think I feel the most joy and gratitude right now with that. So I would definitely say I'm more spiritually wealthy than financially at the moment.

Magic Barclay:

I think there's some great takeaways there, and that is that. You know, you believe in you so much now, which you didn't before, that you've completely replaced your wealth and the money doesn't really matter at this point. You have you and you're alive. Correct. And you love who you are.

Grace De Angeli:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm blessed to live, when I say I'm blessed to live with a life coach, my husband is a life coach, but I'm blessed that he was able, bring me through this journey as well and help me through it in a way, because he would always say that exactly he, you know, if I complain about something small now, he'll actually even remind me, Hey, grace, this could have been so different. And I think you know what, you are right, because wealth doesn't create. You know, your health, it doesn't, you know, um, you gotta learn how to balance wealth. And, and what was happening is we were always chasing, chasing that big carrot. We were chasing the carrot, chasing carrot. That in the end, you know, my husband was like, there's more to life than just chasing this massive carrot of wealths. Um, and that's when he went on his spiritual journey and I started the same. And that's what I mean, exactly what you just said. I am so wealthy. People look at us and go, wow. Like wow. You guys must have it all. We don't have it all, but we have us. We have ourselves, you know, and that's something that you can never, ever take away. Nothing, no matter what comes and goes. And someone that I just spoke to the other day said, you know, you can hold onto physical things, but it's never there. That goes away, your hair goes away, your handbags goes away. I had trucks pulling up, taking away all our cars when we lost everything. You know, I don't have the fancy hairstyle. It's not that I don't want it, it's because I was spending hundreds of dollars on it and I was thinking, why am I hiding behind all of this? I was trying to be someone I wasn't Just to keep up with the Jones, I guess, you know. Call it that way, but now I couldn't care. I'm not gonna swear on your podcast, but I don't give any damn what people think of me. Absolutely none. You love me. Great. You hate me. Great. You know, that's how I feel about things now. So I don't let things get to me anymore. I don't let people's opinions of me get to me. I don't let people what they think of me. You know, I got to the point at one stage where I do Oracle card reading online. And the only person who's watching is my husband, and I'm like, this is fantastic. It's like I'm in front of a million people. Why? Because I am so connected within myself. I know exactly where I stand. So I think that's the biggest lesson you can get at when you know exactly who you are. Everything else is just, like my husband says, it's just a walk in the park. So I believe. Love

Magic Barclay:

it. Now our final question for this episode is around weight loss. Mm-hmm. and many people battle their weight quite needlessly. Not saying it's not an issue, but they don't look at the key issue, which is often stress. So I guess this is a two part question. Have you ever battled your weight? Weight? Mm-hmm. If so, how did you lose it? And what did you do to reduce your stress?

Grace De Angeli:

Okay, so that's definitely something you know, up my alley. Uh, I've always been a big girl, um, to the point where I got to almost a hundred kilos. And what it was is, um, it was stress, but I was hiding my true self. So, What I was doing is I was comfort eating. And comfort eating for me was because I was brought up in a family of Italian immigrants, and my father was very, very strict and he was physical, so he would've physically hit us, abuse us until the age of 29. I got. Hit fit, you know, hit. So what I was doing is I was using food as my comfort because I was afraid to let anyone in. And of course I was highly stressed as well, and especially when around the time that I was diagnosed with cancer, I mean, I got down to 60, 67 kilos. Years ago. But then what happened was then we started this, you know, this carrot chasing, and I gained the weight. Why? Because again, I wasn't looking after myself, because I thought it was the last thing I had to look after. I was like, no, no, no, no. I wanna look after the business. So we weren't eating properly and I was suppressing a lot of stuff. I was not talking. So for me, food was that comfort. so I went through that again. But then this time around, you know, as soon as I got diagnosed with the cancer and that, what I started to do is I didn't look at it as a diet. And I, I, you know, I know it sounds like a cliche. Everyone's got these, oh, it's a diet. It's a diet. I look at a lifestyle change, and at the moment we are doing keto. Now I'm not here. Promote keto, but that's what we are doing. But the keto that we do reintroduces carbs on the weekend, so you feel like a normal person on the weekend, but it's not because I'm trying to lose weight, although I am slowly losing weight, it's because I'm trying. As I get older, I'll be 51 in July. I realize that it's not about losing the weight, which it is good for you. But it's a lot. It's about maintaining a healthier lifestyle. The other thing I do now religiously, we started from the beginning of this year and like yourself, you live here in Australia, you know what season we're in. Every morning, rain, hail, shine, myself and my husband, throw ourselves in the ocean. Every morning. It doesn't matter how cold or how hot it is and if it's too hot, cuz our summers can be hot. Well we've, that's okay cuz we've got an ice bath in my bathroom here, it's a bath full of cold water and ice. And I put myself. In there. Why? Because that also resets everything. That also helps you, not only it helps your immune system, it also helps you, you lose weight as well, because what's happening is the body's using its own fat to create energy. So that's what I'm looking at at. So I do the vitamin Cs, the vitamin Ds and all of that. Again, it's, you know, I'm losing the weight slowly this time, but it's because I'm doing it so I can be around a lot longer. I don't wanna get to the point where, God forbid I get diagnosed with something else and then I go, ops, I better start changing my diet now. You don't wanna get to that point. so what it is, it's, everything has to be in balance. And I say that to people. I'm not here to promote what I do and say, no, you must do this alone. No, because there's so many great lifestyle changes out there that you can do. But what it is, is it's just eating and. Moving and doing everything in moderation I think is key because that's how you sustain being able to lose the weight. I'm an open book. I'm sitting at the moment at 82 kilos, so I'm not tiny. but I was sitting at almost 89 kilos a couple of months ago because, with how the world was going. And, you know, we were, working from home a lot more and things like that, and a lot of places were closed and so forth. Well, it just made it harder for me to wanna get motivated. So what we did was we just started eating more and more, Food that wasn't good for us. and now we started to eat a lot cleaner. So I think when you talk weight loss, it's about, first of all, I think it is definitely psychological. I believe it's emotional and psychological. That's what's behind weight loss. That because I went through it, I was comfort eating because I wasn't getting the love from my family, so I was using food as my love, if that makes sense. So I think you gotta heal that part of you as well. It's not just about healing the, you know, the body, okay, I've just gotta lose X amount of weight. You've gotta, you've gotta go through the whole process and let go of all those traumas that are holding you in that place. So that's what I, I believe about weight loss.

Magic Barclay:

I feel like where Kindred spirits. I was nodding the whole time you were talking then.

Grace De Angeli:

There you go. See, I love it. Like I say, I'm not special. There's more of one of us that are going through this Totally.

Magic Barclay:

Now we love freebies here. So what is something you can offer the listeners?

Grace De Angeli:

Okay, well actually I've actually got a 30 day motivation, booklet. So it's a, it's an ebook that, you know, people can actually go on my website and I give you all the details. And what they could do is they can actually click on and join my 30 day motivation and what it. Basically a step by step guide of every day, something to do to get motivated. And I think that's really important because it doesn't matter where you are in your life or where you are in your journey, sometimes you just need that little bit of a, a push in the right direction. So I've actually got that, uh, which is amazing. Um, a lot of people have s sworn by it said to Mick, why can't it be 60 days? And I'm like, whoa, okay. I didn't realize. People want more, but it's to get you sort of on the right track of where you wanna go in life. Um, so that's what I have at the moment. And not only that, I also have on my website a lot of tools and resources of books that people can purchase. They're not my books, but, Tools and resources I used on my journey. And it's not just breast cancer books, it's anything from aveta to mindfulness to meditation, to hearing other breast cancer journeys or you know, people's, uh, stories. So I, I also include that in my website as well. It's ww dot the angels of grace dot m e.

Magic Barclay:

I love it. Thank you so much for your time today, grace listeners. This was your episode 1 54 of a Magical Life In 1 55, grace will rejoin us talking about how to live authentically despite trauma. Listeners, as always, thank you for your time. Go forth and create your magical.