182: Great Relationships Start With Connection with Tom Glaser
[00:00:00] [00:01:00] Welcome back to Your Magical Life. I'm your host Magic Barclay, and this is your episode 180 2, and we have Tom Glaser here, and he's talking about all things personal connection. Tom is a licensed psychologist and life coach with over 35 years of experience. Tom is also a bestselling author and yoga instructor.
His book Full Heart Living Conversations with the Happiest People I know is an amazon.com bestseller. Whether counseling, writing, or teaching, his passion for helping people live their best life flows through. Welcome, Tom. I'm so excited to speak to you today. Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here. I, I appreciate the opportunity.
Magic. Now, tell us a little bit about what got you into Full Heart Living and connection [00:02:00] and what got you down the road that you're on. Yeah, for sure. So I have always been, you know, interested in positive psychology. I've always kind of gotten jazzed about looking at the positive side of things. You know, in grad school shrink school as we call it.
You know, you kind of focus on all the diagnoses and you know, kind of the dark side and um, so it's good to have some lightness here and there. And then, uh, the truth. Magic. It was through the unhappiness period of my adult life. I had my dream job and I couldn't wait to wake up and go to work every morning.
And I was gonna retire there. I was very attached. And then, uh, things changed very suddenly when, a very difficult coworker who I was assigned about half of my tasks on my job. With this person couldn't stand me and it, and, and undermined me and just made my work life a living hell. I gave up my dream [00:03:00] job, but in the midst of my grief and depression, I noticed happier people all around me and I just got really curious.
I started asking questions and it, just snowballed into, I call them mini documentaries, but they're really videotaped interview. And that led me into the book and I learned that happier people connect really deeply. So that's what we'll be talking about. The ways they connect. What did they do?
Well, that sounds really, really interesting and. I'm sure that you can explore that a bit more with us. But first I wanna ask you the same three questions I ask all my guests. Okay. And I get such an array of answers. It, it's just amazing, but I can't wait for yours.
So here's your first one, Uhhuh. What can your expertise do to accelerate health, not just physical, but also emotional and spiritual health? Yeah, I, I mean, the reason I called it Full heart living, happier people live [00:04:00] with their full hearts.
That includes embracing all that life throws at us. Magic, happier people don't avoid, or, you know, shove down times that they're. For instance, or, I don't know, they're mad or angry or, anything that's harder or challenging or that we sometimes label as negative emotions. They embrace all of it. They know that all emotional states are temporary and this is the way I like to say it.
They find their ways to support themselves through these tough times, knowing they're temporary. That's very different people who I tend to work with, with a lot of anxiety or depression Magic, and I'm sure you've seen this too, tend to want to not feel things. And if you're not gonna feel worry or sadness, there's like this parallel.
It also suppresses our ability to experience joy. Who needs that? And [00:05:00] joy is spiritual, right? When we laugh really deeply, right? We kind of transcend, we kind of go to another level, right? We're just totally in the present moment. To me, that is a spiritual moment.
Now, Tom, we also talk about wealth here. People often think wealth is only financial, but it can also be personal and emotional wealth, which then lead to financial wealth. So what are your top three tips to creating wealth? it really dovetails well with the top learnings of, what I discovered in writing the book.
And why don't only just quick, uh, touch on those now. So happier people connect really deeply with themselves, with others, and with their passions. So, Happier people are wealthy in those areas. You know, who cares about the material things when you're living a life that's filled with people that you love and you are in the present moment and you're doing things that.
Fill your tank and fill your [00:06:00] soul. That's true wealth. Of course, it may sound like a cliche, but it's really true, and I think you're right, that when we kind of follow our bliss, our needs somehow get taken care of, even on the material plane is what I have found.
So when I sent you an email, The questions that I ask, you mentioned to me that you need to connect deeply not only with others, but yourself and your passions. Yes. What happens if people can't connect to one of those things? Is there an imbalance? Is there, you know, some sort of off kilter angle to their life?
What happens? Well, I find that it kind of doesn't matter where you enter any of those spheres. They all feed off So if I start with, connecting with my passions, I'm going to be naturally led to connecting with other people, right?
I'm gonna find people who share those interests. [00:07:00] Say I take a class in whatever it is, knitting for some reason is coming to mind If I'm really into knitting and yarn. Right. I'm gonna take a class and I'm going to meet other people with that same passion. So I'm connecting with a passion as I'm doing this activity, whether it's knitting or singing or bowling or hockey, whatever it is, I'm connecting with myself, right?
And. I'm connecting with my passion. So, so all of them, feed into the other, there's such overlap. so I don't see, people, once they really commit to this, I don't see an imbalance.
That's great then. And look, we do talk about weight here. Many people battle with their weight, whether they need to lose weight, gain weight. It's quite a needless journey. but we also know that stress is a major co-factor in this weight battle. So first of all, have you ever battled your weight? If [00:08:00] so, what was the trigger to lose it?
And what can you offer the listeners who may be struggling with their I wouldn't say I've had extreme, issues. but yeah, I've, I've packed on pounds as, as I've gotten older. physical activity, of course, uh, being really mindful with what and how I eat. Makes a huge difference. I am mostly vegetarian, nearly vegan, and, you know, eating high fiber foods with a lot, you know, vegetable, plant-based diet, a lot of beans.
I find, you know, it's really filling and satisfying and delicious. Let's not forget that. And, yeah, I try to be physical every day and it, and I, I do activities that I love. I like running, I love walking, particularly with a dog. Particularly in nature. I've been, playing pickleball, the last half year or so.
I'm not great at it. but it really gets me moving and [00:09:00] again, so I'm doing an activity I enjoy and I have met people, through pickleball and, oh, like when I had a running partner, uh, way back in the day, we would go on these long runs together and, you know, forget all. Any pain from running. I mean, not like dangerously, but you know, the, the, how hard running can be.
and we would connect so it whenever we could, we would run along the Mississippi River here in Minneapolis. So it's just beautiful. So soaking in the sunshine and the, and the fresh air. so doing physical activities that one enjoys, that's what I would.
Terrific. Now I'm going to wrap this episode up because I really wanna have you back in our next episode and really discuss connection to a greater depth. So for now, we love freebies. What can you offer the listeners and where can they find it? There's a link on my website, full heart [00:10:00] living.com.
Heart of course is h e a r t, and you can get 25% off my book. If you click, click on that link and then enter. The word full, as you check out, uh, there's also a free workbook on that website. So, each chapter in my book ends with concrete ideas for bringing, uh, what's talked about in the chapter into your own life, and all those activities are available for free download right on my website.
And people can find you on Facebook at Full Heart Living. Also on Instagram, full Heart Living, and your website was full heart living.com. So Tom, I'm going to wrap this one up. Thank you so much for joining me. And listeners, thank you for your time. This was your episode 180 2 of a Magical Life. Go Forth and.
Your magical life.