Full On Living On Your Terms with Christy Fechser

Today's guest is Christy Fechser. Christy grew up in a small town in Wyoming, USA and quickly decided that small town living wasn't for her.  After trying out several different career paths, she finally landed on entrepreneurship. She now coaches women about the energy, emotion, and tools for effective goal setting. Her course teaches real-world tools that will help you overcome the inner and outer blocks you face as you strive to take yourself, your business, your life – to the Next Level!

In this episode, Christy and I will visit about listening to your intuition about when it's time to set some boundaries and finding the path that really lights you up.

Grab Christy's free guidebook to get you moving in the right direction on her website here:  https://www.christyfechser.com/guide

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Transcript

1:00

Welcome back to a Magical Life. I'm your host, Magic Barclay, and today I'm joined by Christie Fechner and we're talking about living life on your own terms. Christie grew up in a small town in Wyoming in the US, and six months after graduating from high school was done with small town life. She moved out with a hundred dollars to her name, a temporary place to sleep, And no job prospects. It was the first time in her life that she found a strength within to really do the thing that she wanted, despite all the roadblocks and the uncertainty. For as long as she can remember, she wanted to be in control of her own life. She started working at age 14 and love the paycheck, but didn't love that someone else was in charge of her time and what she was doing. So when people asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, the answers would vary, but the underlying purpose was the same. It was going to be something where she called the shots in college, after bouncing around between lawyer, psychologist, dental hygienist, and travel and tourism, she discovered entrepreneurship and it was like, heaven's parted. Six classes shy of graduation. She actually quit school and decided to put what she already knew into practice her husband. And herself have been serial entrepreneurs since then. In 2012, an opportunity fell into their laps and she wasn't expecting an incredible business to grow from that unexpected opportunity. For the past 10 years, she's been coaching women how to start their own business and be in control of their own lives. Today she has a signature course and a podcast where she helps women take their life to the next level. Welcome. Thanks magic. I'm so excited to be here. I'm excited to have you here. Now let me just ask you, leaving small town life. That must have been a bit daunting. You know, I don't think that it was as daunting as it probably should have been. I think that that comes from being done, you know, like truly in yourself. I have had enough. I cannot do this anymore. I am leaving and just walking away. And kudos to you for listening to that. So many people don't listen to those cues. I. Yeah. Yeah, that's definitely true. I think for a lot of people, it's really hard for them to imagine taking that step, that first, because it, it can be scary, right? It can be like, I don't know, maybe I was just dumb enough to think it wasn't that big of a deal. I don't know. But yeah, I just figured that I would figure it out. I would, I would make it work. You know, it, it wasn't like I hadn't been working. It's not that I didn't know how to work, I didn't know how to live, I didn't know how to take care of myself. So it was really just about, okay, I need to go find a job and a good place to live, and it can't be that hard. Right. Right. Now look, I ask all my guests the same three questions, and the amount of answers that vary is just so incredible. I love it that we're all so diverse. So here's your first one. What can your expertise do to accelerate health, not just physical, but emotional and spiritual health? You know, I think that the biggest thing my business that came into my lap back in 2012 was actually in the wellness industry. So we could talk about health all day long, um, about physical health and, you know, wellness products and how to take care of yourself and all those kinds of things. But when I was in that business, The thing that I really actually loved was being able to mentor and coach women and while, while I was there initially, to be able to help them start their own business, what really lit me up was seeing women find their own potential to be able to find who they were before they became a wife, or before they became a mom or before they became the labels that everybody else in the world put on them. They were able to kind of return back to. Innate value in themselves and to find their purpose and to see within themselves an ability to do something bigger than what they had imagined that they could do and that they could balance their family life. And a purposeful life in the same way. And I, that's the thing that I really like. You know, when we talk about wellness, yes, physical wellness is super, super important. But I think that just having a, a mental wellness, a wellness within yourself that allows you to be able to see yourself in your truest form, to recognize your own in eight value, your own gifts, the things that you bring to the world. Is so invaluable and our world would be a totally different place if we were able to, as a society, as a world population function in that way that we could break outside of the box that maybe school puts us in. Professors, teachers, educators, bosses. Parents, whatever, like all the people that are in our lives as we're growing up and kind of forming our personality, if we could break outside of those kind of constraints and recognize who we actually are and why we are the way that we are, and how we can change the things that we don't want to embrace anymore, that we don't want to be anymore, and be able to move past those things into who we want to be. I think that there's just some incredible magic that can happen. So true. Now we talk about wealth here as well. So what are your top three tips to creating wealth as a serial entrepreneur? There has to be some nuggets there that you've found. Not just financial wealth, but also emotional wealth. Yeah, yeah. You know, I, while financial wealth is, is really important, I think. The the true wealth is in yourself first, because you can't create financial wealth or wealth in relationships or wealth in anything outside of yourself until you've figured out what's happening on the inside. So my number one, my number one tip is to spend time with introspection that you take the time to recognize. Why you function the way you function? Why did you respond to that person in that way? How could you have done it differently so you had a different outcome? How could you have. Seen that person or had that conversation or answered that text or whatever in a different way, or why do you have the self-deprecating thoughts that you have? How can you change them? So many people go through life and they never stop to even wonder why they are the way that they. Like, why did I become this way? Why am I interested in this? Why am I interested in this kind of person? Is this healthy for me? Is that person healthy for me? Is this thing healthy for me? I, I think that we get really caught up in this idea that we're just supposed to grow up. Get an education, get a job, and then it's like, check, check, check. Right? We accomplished the goals that the world set for us, and I guess that that's the end of our life, right? That that's just what we, we have like a holding pattern for the rest of our lives of just working. And you know, maybe we throw a spouse in there, maybe we throw some kids in there. Speaking specifically to women, because that's who I, I coach and mentor. I tell them a lot that when you signed up to be whatever else it is that you are, whether it's a wife or a mom, or you know, an employee or an employer, you never unsigned up to be yourself and you need to go back to who that is. You need to spend that time on introspection to be able to recognize in. Who you are, what makes you tick, and how you can change those things. If you find that there are things about you that you can improve, which I'm going to tell you, everybody can, everybody can improve, and spending time with personal development to try and help you. Navigate what that looks like. You know, that we don't have to be in this battle of like reinventing ourselves by ourselves. There's a lot of people out there that they live their life with a whole purpose of helping you become who you are meant to be and who you want to be. Um, so introspection is number one. My second one is that you teach people how to treat you. And I know that for some people that's a really hard pill to swallow, um, because sometimes it comes at a really young age that people are abusing us. And so we just learn that that's how life is supposed to be, that people are just like that. But there comes a point where we are adults and that we. Recognize that we are no longer children anymore, and that we are the ones that can get the job. We can pay the bills, we can live where we want. We can eat what we want, we can, you know, whatever we want. Like it's up to us. We are actually in charge of our lives. And when you put yourself in that position to say, I am in charge of my life, then you can start recognizing how the people around you are interacting with you and the way that you. Allow them to interact with you that you know you can teach people how to treat you and there will probably be some people that liked when you didn't have any boundaries and they won't like your new. Way that you're saying that they have to interact with you. Um, but it's, it's really healthy for you, first and foremost, but also healthy for the people that you really do wanna keep in your life that are actually valuable to you. To be able to have those good relationships with them so that they stop stepping on your toes and that you can have that open and honest dialogue about, these are my. And this is my kind of like the line I draw for myself where I don't let people past this place. I think that that's really, really, really important. I, it's not an, I think I know it is. I know it's really important. Um, and the third thing, which I just barely touched on, is setting boundaries. Just knowing how to set boundaries for yourself, identifying what they are. And it doesn't have to look like people abusing you, although it, it can oftentimes can look like people, you know, taking advantage of you or, abusing you mentally or whatever. it can also be you just not having any boundaries and saying, I am here to be whoever you need me to be. And I think that those three things, if you can figure out how to spend time, On introspection for yourself, recognizing that you are actually teaching the people around you how to treat you, and then figure out how to set your boundaries that is going to provide you so much freedom and wealth inside of yourself that whatever comes or whatever you want to pursue, it only puts you in the right position to be able to pursue that from a place of centeredness. Being grounded and knowing how to proceed without people. Walking those boundaries or you know, walking over those boundaries or you know, interacting with you in a way that you don't want them to. I love those tips and I think in our next episode we really need to delve into how to set those boundaries cuz probably some people out there, especially the ladies going. But how do I do that? So that's coming in our next episode, folks. Now Christie, we talk about weight loss here. Many people think their weight defines who they are, whether they're too thin, too heavy. Whatever it is, you know, like the menopause body, like we all kind of, you know, judge ourselves and society judges us. So have you ever battled your weight? If so, how did you take the control back and what do you suggest to the listeners on this topic? Because we know that stress often drives weight battles, whichever side of the coin it goes to. So what nuggets have you got for the listen? You know, the interesting thing about, wait, first of all, what other people think of you as none of your business, which we talked about on the episode that you came to me, on my podcast, which I loved. Um, I, I think that it's really important that we block out other people's opinions and that we focus on who we wanna be. And, you know, it can be really, really, really easy to get caught up in this whole idea that somehow your weight is defining you and who you. But I, it doesn't, it doesn't define you. You define yourself and Other people's opinions and other people's comments and even your own, can't sink in and affect you unless you allow it to. Like, unless you find truth in what they're saying and that truth. Can change, you can change that. Um, I actually, my husband, so I haven't ever really personally dealt with, um, weight issues myself. I think my biggest thing is that food is not really my thing. And so all growing up it was like I have to eat to live and sometimes I forget that I have to eat to live. And so it, my problem is on. Not eating enough, not being nutritionally balanced in that way because I, I just don't go to food that isn't like my, my, I guess stress relief, my, my go-to for that. Um, but I recognize that it is for some people and then there are just others that life happens to them, you know, and it's a chemical imbalance or it's a career path, or it's stress or you know, that there are things outside of us that are causing. Physical manifestation of something that's happening within us, within us on the inside. Um, my husband has battled weight for a really long time, almost two decades, and it's, he's done everything to try and fix that. And it's been an interesting kind of discovery to get at the heart of it. And I think that that is one of those, it goes back to that introspection question right back to that moment where you're like, what happened? Why is it this way? Do I emotionally eat? And you have to be honest with yourself about it. You have to get to a point where you, you're willing to look yourself in the face and say, okay, if I wanna make girl changes, I have to be honest with myself first. Because you can't fix what you don't acknowledge and to say, you know, is this, is there actually something wrong? Was it actually baby weight? How can I fix that? Was it actually, I'm trying to, protect myself. Was it I am emotionally eating? Is it the stress? Is it the job? Is it the relationship? Is it the kids? Is it, you know, your past, you're, you know, being grown up? There's a lot of things that can alter our weight, and I think that the biggest part of that is first identifying what happened. To cause it and trying to get at that underlying reason to fix it. You're not just gonna diet away your stress, if anything, you're gonna add to it. And that's just a reality of what weight is. And in the process of. Kind of reinventing yourself and looking at it in that way. I think that one of the biggest things that has worked for my husband is to say, I'm not going to set boundaries of how it has to look. I'm not gonna say, it has to look like only these foods, or I'm not gonna say it has to look like this kind of exercise or this gym time, or whatever. He said what it's going to look like is I'm choosing me and I'm choosing to be healthy, and I'm gonna choose to move my body this day, and I'm gonna choose to eat healthy this day and some days. It doesn't work out the way that you think it's going to be, but the goal is to be 1% better than you were yesterday. That's what I teach my people, is to just, it's not about overnight changes, it's about 1% in the right direction day after day after day, because that's the only way you're actually gonna get to where you want to be. So there's my little soapbox fill about it. I love that. And that 1% is so important. So listeners, you know, if you're taking that 1%. Please don't beat yourself up about the 99% that you are not doing because there's a reason why you're not doing it. It's not the right time, it's not authentic for you. You know, it might not even be your influence, so just do the 1%. I love that. Now people can find you at Christie Fechner on Facebook and on Twitter and. Your website is christie fechner.com. Yes. Now we do love freebies here. So what can you offer the listeners as Abe? Yeah, so it's actually christie feer.com, F E C H S E r. And when you, no worries. It's German and it's really hard for people to be able to pronounce it. It's all good. so when you go to the website, there's actually a free guide that is on my website that you can get that is going to walk you through some of my. My top three, like underlying things that will help you to create lasting change in your life, whether that's weight, reinventing yourself, just trying to, you know, change something that's happening in your life. These are. Some of my like foundational, these are the things you need to do first. And this isn't gonna be something that's like crazy, right? It's they're real world practical. You can implement them right now kind of things. And they have really compelling stories that go along with them to, uh, you know, the thing that I hear back the most from people about it is it gives them hope. Hope that they can actually change the life. That they can actually live it in the way that they want to, that they are actually in control and that they can make a differe. It's gonna be christie feer.com/guide. G U I D E is going to get you to the guide. Fantastic. And tell us a little bit about your podcast. Oh, my podcast is called All in the Name of Growth, and I super love it. It is just my, my new found joy in my life. I put out an episode every week, and it's mostly talking to women who are trying to take their life or potentially their business to the next level, to be able to just have the tips, the tricks, the perspective shifts, the, you know, mindset shifts to be able to see their life, their prospects, their opportunities from a new perspective. Wonderful. And you've had a very interesting guest on recently. Yes, I did. I loved having you on. Thank you for that. And I love having you here. So I would love if you would rejoin us in our next episode to teach us how to learn and set those boundaries. Yes. I'm very excited to talk more. Fantastic. Thanks for being on listeners. Mm-hmm. Thank you so much for your time. This was your episode 180 4. Go forth and create your magical life.