A Magical Life: Health, Wealth, and Weight Loss

Be Confident, Vocal, Visible and Passionate About You with Nina Manolson

May 07, 2023 Nina Manolson Season 1 Episode 189
A Magical Life: Health, Wealth, and Weight Loss
Be Confident, Vocal, Visible and Passionate About You with Nina Manolson
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Show Notes Transcript

Today's guest is Nina Manolson. Nina is a body peace coach. She helps people end the war with food and body, and finally feel truly at home in their body as it is. She's known for her deeply feminist anti-diet body-peace approach. She brings her 30 years experience as a therapist, nationally board certified health and wellness coach, body trust guide, and psychology of eating teacher to helping women create a respectful and trusting relationship with their food and their body. Nina's body-peace work is all in service of helping people get off the diet rollercoaster and into a compassionate and powerful way of eating and living, which creates a positive long lasting change in and with their bodies. Her courses, coaching and poetry positively change the conversation that women are having with their body.

In today's conversation, we'll hear another of Nina's poems and talk about ways we can improve and heal our relationship with our body.  Like any other relationship, it takes work, understanding, and kindness to develop a peaceful relationship with your body. 

Get your free Practicing Body-Peace Journal on Nina's website: https://ninamanolson.com/

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Magic Barclay:

Welcome back to a Magical Life. I'm your host, magic Barkley, and today, Nina Mandelson rejoins us. Nina is the body piece coach. So let's hear more. Thank you for rejoining us, Nina.

Nina Mamolson:

My pleasure. My pleasure, magic.

Magic Barclay:

Now, in our last episode, you shared a very gorgeous poem with us, and when you were. Reading the poem. I thought maybe you've had a camera on me for the past 40 something years, cuz that summed up my life. So I know that there's so much we can explore this episode, but I wanna talk first about. Maybe women in their forties, fifties, sixties, who don't know who they are. I've spoken often as a guest on other podcasts and also as a host on this one about the loss of sense of self. Is that something that you find in your work, and how do women get back on the track of knowing who they

Nina Mamolson:

are? Yeah, so it's so important what you're saying, this idea of where do we, where did we lose ourselves and where do we, how do we get ourselves back? So I really wanna talk for a moment about where do we lose ourselves? Because where we lose ourselves is our culture, our. our patriarchy is busy telling us what a woman should be, right? We're not asked. So who are you? Early on we're given a role. The girlfriend, the wife. The mother. The daughter, right? Fundamentally, women are given a title of giver. And we fill that role very well. We know how to take care of other people. We support other people. Often when I ask friends, how are you, they can tell me how their are before they can tell me how they are. Right? We're intuitive and tuned into the people we about in our life. Our arms are always reaching out. But we need to reach them back to ourselves, right? We need to come home to ourselves and in addition to our culture saying, here, here's your role. It says, and the only other way that you can be worthy as a woman is if you fit the cultural. Idealized beauty picture, right? This idea of being very slim and very fit. And then you, check that box off. Great. You're a good giver and you've got a a, I'm putting this in quotes, A perfect body, right? A magazine worthy body and great. All set. You're good to go. And women get caught in that identity. That my body is my badge of worthiness, right? If I am very strong and fit and slim, then I get the gold star on my forehead. Then I get cultural approval, and it's so important for all women, but especially women, as we get into forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait a minute. My worthiness is not dependent on what you think of me or how you objectify me and judge my body. My worthiness is so much more

Magic Barclay:

so for women who might be trying to tackle who they are now, trying to really nut that out. What are some basic tips that you have to rediscovering who you are? Like, something I found was if my children didn't exist and I was alone in the world, what would matter? So that was something I had to ask myself to step out of the, you know, magic as a mother, magic as a caregiver to find who magic was or is. So what tips do you have?

Nina Mamolson:

Because I work with women in their relationship with their body. I see world through that lens, and I also know that our relationship with our body is a place that we can find ourselves again. So I find that when women, increase sensation in their bodies, it's like, oh, that's what I feel like. That's what lights me up. That's what gives me pleasure, that the body is a great place, a touchstone to come back to, to go, wait, where am I in this picture? Because we're looking at how so-and-so is getting along with so-and-so across the room, and we're wondering, is there enough food on the buffet table? And all of our attention is external to us. When we can come back to wait, what is my sensation? is my experience? We start to tap into who am I in this picture? We literally put ourselves back in the picture of our life. And. Accessing pleasure and sensation is so important, right? Often when I work with women, I'm like, so where do you find pleasure? Because what happens is they've disconnected from pleasure, and where they find pleasure is food. That's the only place that feels soothing, that feels pleasurable. And then they wonder why? Why can I not stop eating? Why can I not say no to any food? Why do I feel like an constantly empty pit in my stomach? Because I'm trying to fill something. I'm trying to fill a sense of need. So to start asking myself, what do I need? And looking for the places that light up those pleasure receptors where you feel more alive, more engaged is so important. And it's often a homework that I give clients, like, go around and notice what gives you pleasure, what lights you up? Let's move towards those things because the pleasure, those things that light you up are nourishing. And we're looking for nourishment. We're looking for true nourishment, right? On all levels, because nourishment isn't just what we eat, that's part of it. But nourishment is our ability to move our body and feel open and agile and. Mobile the other things that nourish us are a sense of, you know, being able to be in nature, to connect with people deeply and not just be the in the caregiving role. We wanna be looking for all the nourishment and the thing that tells us. I'm being nourished, is how does it feel in our body? What does pleasure feel like? And it's very important. I'm wanna pull apart. Cause when people sometimes hear pleasure, they think I'm talking about sexuality. Sexuality absolutely has a lot to do with pleasure, but sensuality can be quite separate from sexuality and we wanna access what do our senses. Experience in life because then again, coming back to then I know how I feel, then I know what my experience is. Then we put ourselves back in the picture of our own life.

Magic Barclay:

So well said. Now, Nina, what are some other things that you feel the listeners can benefit from hearing today?

Nina Mamolson:

The message that I always want women to hear is that their body is okay. I know it sounds so simple, but your body, even if you're not liking it, even if it's not well, even if you're dealing with injury or illness or unwanted weight or unwanted eating behavior, Your body is okay. She needs attention. She needs tending to, but she doesn't deserve judgment. She doesn't deserve to be put in another prison of another diet. She deserves support. Right. Just like if you were in a relationship with somebody and the relationship wasn't going well and you were like, you know, like I could blame the other person completely, or I could say, you know what? There's something going on in this relationship and we need support. We need support. Let's get help. Let's go for healing. Help. Let's go for therapy. Same with your body. Right, because we know from other relationships, the blame and shame game doesn't get us anywhere. Right? That ends up in divorce. And we cannot divorce our body, right? We can't walk away from our body. This is a relationship we are in for the duration. There's no longer relationship in our life than the one with our body. We're born into this body. We'll die in this body. It is the longest relationship we have. So if you're feeling like this relationship is not the way I want it to be, then great. Get support, get help. I often, when I'm on planes and people say, what do you do if I say I'm a body peace coach? They'd be like, what? I don't know what that is. So often I say, I'm a couple's therapist, but instead of working with a relationship with a woman and her partner, I work on the relationship with a woman. And her body because that is a relationship that is worth your energy. It's worth healing. It's worth developing a whole vocabulary of compassion, listening, and care so that you can feel like you are taking care of yourself in the very best way that you can, and that you're honoring yourself and that feels like your home is a nice place to live.

Magic Barclay:

Exactly. And your body is your home. Mm-hmm. And I think, you know, we go to the extremes of having a nice house to live in and making sure it's clean and it provides everything for the family. But we don't do that for our bodies.

Nina Mamolson:

absolutely. this reminds me and magic, if you're willing, if you would indulge me in another poem cuz when you just said that like, We tend to many things, but often not our body. It's called I talk to my flowers better than I talk to my body. And this poem is based completely, this is autobiographical, just saying, so, hello, beautiful. Well, aren't you blossoming today? Look at your radiant colors and you smell luscious. Every time I walk by my flowers, I smile appreciating their beauty, the uniqueness of every bud. The sensuality of the velveteen pets. On that violet rose, the pop of power from the garber daisy, the lushness of the lavender hydria, and oh my pink. P e. Each one exquisite. Each one different, each one worthy of attention. I admire them with such ease. I notice their beauty as much as I ignore my own. Look at those unique folds. A belly lined with the patterns of history, a bumpy swirl, luxuriating from waist to hip. To leg. How sensuous, how juicy, and the wave of arms blowing in the wind. They keep waving part of nature. I am, I walk by the mirror and there at last. Hello. Beautiful. Well, aren't you blossoming today?

Magic Barclay:

That's so gorgeous. I love it. Thank you.

Nina Mamolson:

You're very welcome. And again, that poem speaks to that sensuality that we wanna reclaim with ourselves, that delight, that juiciness, that's a kind of relationship that's yummy, right? Walking by the mirror and hating ourselves. Who would wanna walk by somebody every day who just criticized? Who put us down. We don't want that. We don't need it, and we don't have to have it. We can reclaim our relationship with our bodies such that we feel like, you know what? The way it is is good. Right. You don't have to. And one of the reasons my business and my work isn't called body love, is I sometimes think that's too aspirational. Oh, I'm supposed to love my body all the time. We don't love our partners all the time. We don't even like our kids all the time. We love them all the time. We don't like them. Sometimes our kids do things that we're like really? Seriously. Same with partners and same with bodies. But if it's a relationship we care about. We communicate, we talk, we work it out. We create a relationship based on peace and respect. That's what we want with our relationship, with our body. Something that goes the distance, that feels sustainable, that feels supportive, that feels like we can make it to a hundred. Right without being on that diet rollercoaster. That is so draining, so exhausting.

Magic Barclay:

Thank you so much for sharing all this wisdom. I've really enjoyed this episode, and I urged the listeners to get hold of you on your website. So that is www.ninamandelson.com, N I N A M A N O. L s o n.com. Thank you so much for joining us, Nina. These have been a couple of great episodes of this podcast, and is there some parting words for the listeners that can help them recover their body peace?

Nina Mamolson:

Yeah, the thing that I always invite people to start with is, Starting a conversation with their body and how do we Right magic. When you and I met, what's the first thing we say? The,

Magic Barclay:

well, the first thing is, hi, what do you do?

Nina Mamolson:

Right? We say hello, right? We say hello. Hi. Absolutely. And so to take that into your relationship with your body, And go, hello Body. Put your hand on your heart. Hello, body. Right. This body has carried you through this life and for sure. Have you had ups and downs together? Yes. And this is a relationship. So start the conversation. Oh, hello body. And you may hear your body say absolutely nothing cuz it's like, really? You're talking to me? Like I don't know what to do with that. I don't even know how to respond. And it may be your body goes, really? You're finally talking to me. I can't believe it. I've been waiting my whole life for you to finally go. Oh, how do you feel? What do you need? Do you need more rest? Do you need water? Do you need to play? Do you need to stretch? Do you need to eat something? Right? What do you need? Hello? Hello, body. I am acknowledging you not ignoring you not living Nick's door to you. Nope, you are important. I wanna connect and just like any other relationship, if we don't know how to have a language of relationship, we can learn that it's an absolutely learnable skill because the more that we're in this. Really authentic relationship with our body. The more we can have this conversation with our body, the more we can make choices around food and activity and life that make us feel truly well from the inside.

Magic Barclay:

Thank you. Some gorgeous words for our gorgeous listeners. Thank you so much.

Nina Mamolson:

My total pleasure, magic. Really a delight.

Magic Barclay:

And listeners, thank you so much for your time. It really is just so wonderful being able to bring such great guests to your ears and such a privilege. So thank you very much. Coming up in our future episodes, we have some totally amazing guests. But for now, go forth and create your magical life.