The Power of Subconscious Thought, Gratitude and Self Love with Barry Nicolaou

Today's guest, Barry Nicolaou, is an expert in deconstructing the layers beneath cognitive fear, indecision, subconscious paradigms, inherited thinking, habitual thinking, and their intimate relationship to real world expectations and experiences.

In this episode, we'll visit about how fear holds you back, where it comes from, and how to loosen its grip on you in your life.  We all have fears and beliefs that were passed down from previous generations, programmed from our personal experiences, and habitual thought patterns.

The first 5 people to send Barry a message on his website or IG will get a free copy of The 11 Master Secrets to Business Success & Personal Fulfilment!

Connect with Barry:
Website: https://barrynicolaou.com/product/the-11-master-secrets-to-business-success-personal-fulfilment/
On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/barrynicolaou/

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Transcript

Magic Barclay: 0:59

Welcome back to a Magical Life. I'm your host, magic Barclay, and today Barry Nicola joins me and Barry's ability to locate and define his true purpose in assisting others. Began back in 2015, the inspiration Barry absorbed one fateful day at a cemetery led him to write. And publish a number one bestselling book on Amazon. His book, the 11 Master Secrets to Business Success and Personal Fulfillment outlines the 11 Areas that Intersect Economic Freedom with Personal Fulfillment. His forte is in deconstructing the layers beneath cognitive fear, indecision, subconscious paradigms, inherited thinking, habitual thinking, and their intimate relationship to real world expectations. And experiences his new presentation on gratitude leadership for corporations and numerous mental health programs that have been added to his one-on-one work. Assisting businesses to take a holistic look at their culture as an energy that feeds straight to the bottom line. Barry's one-on-one work can be found on the links that we will give you at the end of this episode. Welcome Barry. Oh,

Barry Nicolaou: 2:23

thank you for having me. Magic. You know, when you put that introduction like that, it really kind of goes, oh my God, is that me? It's kind of strange, like how far we've all come, you know? It's just, it's just crazy to consider.

Magic Barclay: 2:37

Totally. Yeah. Now look, I'm going to ask you my standard three questions because everyone gives me a different answer and I'm really excited about yours. And then we really do wanna talk about your books and And your work. Yeah. Yeah. But first of all, what can your expertise do to accelerate health, not just physical, but also emotional and spiritual health?

Barry Nicolaou: 2:59

Well, it's interesting. Um, my history is quite, um, um, well, interesting's probably a good word for it. one fateful day at a cemetery led to the work that I'm doing today and to help others, understand their own power of their thoughts and how what we led into our own thoughts, ends up dictating the experiences we have in life. And, for me, having a very personal journey, through transformation and healing. has given me an appreciation, that if it feels this good to get through our obstacles and our challenges, I wanted to share it with the world. Hence the first book in 2015 and the new book that's coming out, um, before the end of the year. So it's exciting in one respect, trying to get people to really appreciate that they are amazing human beings and that they've got potential. But healing is a very personal journey. I will tell you that as well. What? What helps one person doesn't help another, so it ends up being a very customized approach. To healing and, and that's something that I take into consideration when I have my one-to-one work. The other thing to consider here is that, I've delved into the science of creative visualization and how thoughts do become things. So that, for me ends up being a universal law, that everyone can pick up and absorb and, create tools towards. it's definitely a, complicated answer because everyone just learns so differently.

Magic Barclay: 4:23

You were talking about, subconscious paradigms and cognitive fear. Mm. Now, back in episode 96, I talked about the science of fear and what that does to our internal landscape. Mm. What do you see as, you know, the issues with people with cognitive fear? Because this has really been for the past few years. Mm-hmm. People are living in that kind of mental imprisonment.

Barry Nicolaou: 4:47

Mm mm It's a really good question, actually. And, I'll try and start at the beginning. So, b, before you take a look at the world and you take a look at the fear that currently exists in the world, I'd like you to take inventory of any, inherited fear that you've picked up. Now, this could be passed down biologically from great grandparents, grandparents, your parents, and then yourself. and it's important to note that. Because you pick up fear. I pick up fear, uh, as a generational, biological, uh, part of being born, right? Because we love our parents. Our parents instill these, you know, things are really hard for me. Therefore, things can be hard for you. And here's the way to protect yourself in a way. But what we don't end up realizing is that fear ends up manifesting in the body in the form of illness as well. Apart from that, there are opportunities that exist in the world today that didn't exist 30, 40, 50 years ago. So I think we've gotta be very, very decisive and, you have to identify where fear is coming from. So inherited thinking is one of those areas. The other area that it comes from is habitual thoughts. So thinking the way we've always thought for the last, say 10, 15 years, something's made an impact on you and you've habitually carried on that this is the way the world is and I'm gonna carry this fear as a habit. Now we don't consciously carry it as a habit, we do it subconsciously cuz it just ends up being a program, just like a program on your computer or your phone. It just keeps running the same program. So unless again, we look at, okay, what are the healthy programs here and what are the unhealthy programs? Then we can start identifying more healthy areas of thinking. And that includes, you know, the friends we keep that includes, You know, our jobs that includes, you know, the family members that can be toxic for us. People that have very strong views, very strong opposing views. that for me, being sensitive as well, being my myself, magic, I absorb energy. And I, I'm very mindful about who I spend long amounts of time with. So those areas for me are very important. Now, when you take inherited thinking and put it aside, and you take habitual thinking and put it aside, what you've got left is the way that the world is currently. And what you expose your mind to. So are you the type of person that just switches on the news every day and wants to get your half an hour of what's going on? And if that's you, that's okay. for me, I like my news in bullet points. I don't like them in novels, so it's very important to realize that the energy that I need to sustain where I want to go has to be clean. It has to be a clean fuel that you're putting in your car. A lot of people don't do that. They just allow anything and everything to enter their experiences and then wonder why their life experiences end up being quite messed up. Right? So it's almost like you've gotta become very, very clear. You've gotta be a guardian in your mind at the gates of your mind and go, is what I'm absorbing now. Be it food or be it, mental habits, or be it the toxicity with some friends and the toxicity with some families. Are these areas assisting me, to become the best version of who I know myself to be. And if they are not, then you've gotta make some pretty hard choices because you can't want to go in a certain direction and point the steering wheel in the other way. So you've gotta align your words with what you mean with your actions, which then turn into habits, which then turn into life experiences and, I'm finding magic that life's a lot less random than we think. Like for most of us, it feels like it's very random. Like there's just weird things happening and you can never predict things. But I think we've got a lot of influence over it. And then the science that I've looked at of how thoughts actually germinate into tangible experiences. It's incredible. And would you believe gratitude is probably the highest emotional state we can encompass to be in that state of joy and happiness and love? I

Magic Barclay: 8:57

would believe. Now the next question that I ask people is about wealth. People think wealth is just money, but you can't have money if you don't have personal or emotional wealth. So what are your top three tips to creating

Barry Nicolaou: 9:11

wealth? Okay, so, so the first thing I will say is you've hit it right on the head. I know some very rich, wealthy people that have severely broken relationships. Now, I don't know about you, but that's a real stuffed up version of success for me. So I don't identify self-worth from a bank account. And just by the way, when you do that, And when you, when you draw a line from who you are as a person to how much money you've got in the bank, it and that money in the bank fluctuates. Your self-worth also fluctuates. So you've tied it to something that, it's like Abu in the ocean and it'll sink, it'll come up to the surface continually. You don't want to tie yourself to some external anchor like that, which then makes you feel worthy or unworthy at the drop of a hat. So that's the first thing about wealth and the money mindset. Listen, money's important and provides you time. That's what money does. Money gives you the freedom of time to do what you want to do and to help who you want to help. That is it. That's what it gives you the ability to do. Now, the people that continually hoard it and think that they're nothing without it, I think there's something going on there mentally that hasn't been addressed. The second area when it comes to wealth is you've gotta have as best as you can. You've gotta, I call it your circle of influence. So your circle of influence has to be healthy for you to be wealthy in the mindset. So you look at the top five people in your life, right? And we've all heard this before. You know, you look at your blood family and you look at, okay, well love you guys. Love you so much. Is there anything in here that's harming me? People had unresolved issues that are spilling themselves, you know, on my mindset. there was this great Oprah saying, magic. I don't know if you've heard it. what you're not transforming through, you are transmitting. And it's a really beautiful segue to consider that because if you're not transforming through something, you are involuntarily like you do not know you are doing this, you are transmitting those. thoughts that you're not transforming through onto others. So if you are transforming through something, you don't want to project that onto others. You want to just, it's an internal journey. You just, you're just happy being who you are and you're so happy moving forward. So very, very exciting in the sense that if you can tie your wealth to your internal environment and who you are as a person and your contribution that you're making in the world. That is probably the nicest thing you can do for yourself and the people around you.

Magic Barclay: 11:42

we definitely see a lot of this, of, So-and-so's not happy. All of a sudden I'm not happy. It's like we take on too much. So many of us are empathetic without knowing it. Exactly. And to a certain degree everyone is. But you know, you said about the five people around you and about transforming or transmitting. Mm. Some people that aren't able to put themselves first to. Invest in their own mindset. We'll transmit a negative mindset just to keep you down. And it's not an intentional thing, it's just the way that maybe they can cope with what's going on in the world. So we really do have to be mindful of the people we surround ourselves with. A hundred percent. Do they just wanna bring us down to make themselves feel better.

Barry Nicolaou: 12:30

Yeah. And, and it happens so often. And you know, the saddest thing about that is that because we love them, like from our hearts, We tend to give them an escape. Like we tend to let them off the hook in a way because it's something that, you look over things like that when you love someone, right? You don't necessarily pull them up on anything. But what we're talking about here today is that, you need to have self-love to be able to give it away, right? so let's just use a silly example. Let's just say, I want five oranges, right? and I ask you magic. And I say magic, can I have five oranges? Now, if you don't have five oranges to give me, you cannot give me those five oranges. Right? And it's the same with love. If you do not have self-love, you cannot give it away like you do not have it to give away. So how on earth are you gonna do that? So love starts with you. It starts with self, and that is not a selfish pursuit. And that is what our society has ran down now throats, that you have to help others first. And I'm letting you know, let me know how that works for you when you are depleted. Because it doesn't, so you've gotta get to a point where you go, I'm a beautiful divine creation of God, and I'm going through my problems, and I know I've got a heap of them, but I reckon there are the tools, the resources, the podcasts, the people that will enable me to just edge forward in healing this trauma that I've been through or this situation that I'm in. And if you can just identify it. and work in a situation where you can move forward in that healing internally. You might end up giving people a few oranges, you might end up being in that state where you've, not cut people out specifically, but you've moved away. You've gravitated away from certain toxic environments. and the best way to do that, and people say to me all the time, they say, well, Do I just cut off my brother or do I just cut off my sister or do I just, and, and what I tend to do in those circumstances, I don't cut off, but I just, this is gonna sound weird, but it is who I am. I, I just return calls less and less and I catch up at, at really important moments of the year, and I protect myself with energy that I feel like I need to do that because I absorb, as I said before, And, and I just gravitate towards people that lift me up. And I lift them up as a consequence. So we both end up rising. So, But if you've got people that continually bring you down, I'm letting you know you can do all the work and you can read all the books, and you can have all the podcasts. But if you keep your toxicity levels at the same level as they currently are, you're treading water. You're not moving anywhere. think about a hot air balloon going into the sky. You've gotta drop some sandbags to be able to, hit to greater heights. You can't have the same weight and keep filling it through the foot full of hot air and you think it's gonna rise. Cause it's not. You're either gonna run out of gas through the hot air balloon or eventually you're just gonna stay at the same level. So, so it's important to, you know, pull those weeds at the same time as you're planting rose bushes. You've gotta be able to do both. And if you can do that, life is a vacuum. It'll fill those holes in your life with the people and the circumstances and the situations that, and enrich you. That you can be, you, you, you can offer value towards. And that is probably the best feeling you can have in the world as far as I'm concerned.

Magic Barclay: 15:57

Not about letting those people into your space and letting them leech from you and bring you down. It's about having boundaries in place. Exactly. And you know, really self-protecting and you know, We all know the movie Dirty Dancing. It's, I think it's, it just had an anniversary and you know, you see Johnny and baby dancing and he says, this is my space. And he says, you know, here with his arms, that is your space. And I think we need to do that in our own lives. Yeah, we need to say, this is my space. You can't come in. You need to stay out there, and I will come to you when it's healthy for me to do so.

Barry Nicolaou: 16:40

Mm mm It's so true. And it's, it's, so, you know what's interesting magic since I've been on this journey, and maybe yourself, you've experienced this as well. you can't really help anyone. Like you, you get to a realization, right? That, um, at the beginning of my journey, I thought that everyone wanted assistance. I thought that everyone wanted personal development. I thought that everyone wanted to heal from their trauma. I thought that everyone wanted to release toxicity. I thought that it was, why would you not want this sort of thing, right? And then I realized a really universal important truth is that people don't necessarily want the help if they're not ready to make the leap of faith. And, so what I've done, and I don't know if you've experienced this as well, right? Is as you go through the world and as you, uh, experience certain people and situations and circumstances, the ones that come to you, That say, Hey, I wanna understand this a bit deeper. when do you have a few minutes to chat? Those people are interested in a solution, but what I've found is that some people are more comfortable in their habitual thoughts. They're inherited thinking and they're looking at news cycles. More than they are getting through their trauma. I hope it doesn't sound condescending, but you get to a point where you want to assist the people that are ready to make the leap of faith in themselves. And I've really done that. And it's interesting because anyone that has me as their coach, I turned around and I actually make people jump through a few hoops because I've gotta know if they're really interested. Or is this something that they just go, ah, it would be nice. So it's really important that whatever you want in life, whether it be a healing or a successful business, or to beat cancer or to have better family relations, you kind of gotta be all in. You can't be one foot in, one foot out because I'm letting you know, like, like life will then give you experiences that match one foot in one foot out, and then you'll keep going along with a 50 50 mindset. And it, and you get to a level where you, you know, you admire certain people and you go, wow, look what they've done, or, wow, look what they're following, or, wow, look at their content and wow, look who they've helped. They are all in, like they are all invested in this, whatever it is, right? And then we admire them and we go, wow, that's amazing. But yeah, it's amazing because you've seen someone that has basically sacrificed almost everything to achieve a certain outcome. And that's what I need you to consider. If you are getting through trauma, you gotta be all in. You know, if you are, if you wanna start a business, you gotta be all in. It's, it's, there's no half pregnant, you know, you're either pregnant or you're not pregnant, right? So there's no halfway. So, so you've gotta go, what do I want? And am I all in? And if you are all in, I promise you you'll seek the right mindset, you'll seek the right people out that wanna help you. You'll find the right channels through social that really inspire you. You'll look at the toxicity in your life and you'll go, Hey, what's serving me here? And what's not? Look at the people that fill you up, that fuel you, right? There's those people you'll, you'll gravitate towards them, and all of a sudden, Circumstances will start to change and you'll go, how the hell did I just do that? Or How the hell did I just get that phone call? Or how the hell did I just get on that podcast? Oh my God. Things feel different. And all of a sudden people will go, well, well magic, how did you do that? Like, um, and you'll go, you'll answer the same way everyone does. You'll just say, I've changed what goes on up here. Which then has changed what goes on out there. And if we can just realize that and get to that level, you will achieve anything and everything you want, anything, you've got heaps of time, you've got resources, you've got tools, you've got, you know, the internet is a great resource. You've got anything for free. You can Google and get almost anything for free, you know, like a course or to research someone and to read their story. It's all for free. Like you can do that. Right. It's called Google. You can just do whatever you want, right? So you believe in the time that allows that. So if you're not doing that, then there must be something that you're not ready to transform through. And if you're not ready, so, That's also okay because you will be one day, it just won't be today. But as long as you realize that one day you will get past it. You dunno when that's gonna be, but you're on your way, you're on your path, you're on your journey. And when you realize that, oh my God, it's so freeing, it's so liberating to the soul because the soul doesn't wanna stay in misery. The soul wants to expand and love. And, and God, I hope that whatever trauma you're going through or whatever, toxicity you're going through, I hope you find the quickest route out of it that you can. And for some people, quick could be a year, and for some people, quick could be a month. And for some people it could be a decade. It could be any amount of time. But I, I pray and I hope that, you see the light at the end of this beautiful, because life is so beautiful. Like, like life is so, so beautiful, like manmade things. I, I question, you know, like, and the, the knots that we tie ourselves into, but life as in mountains and birds and rivers and sky and air and water. That is beautiful, and if you can just immerse yourself just in that for a little time every day. Wow. You'll see transformations just continually come through through your life.

Magic Barclay: 22:07

Totally. Now that brings us to our final standard question. I was, and that is many people are battling with their weight. Yep. And we know that stress is a key player, and if you're surrounded by the wrong people, those five people around you are the wrong people. You're going to be stressed. You're going to have an internal battle. Yeah. But many people will look at a celebrity or a coach or someone and go, well, they don't have a weight problem. They've never had a weight problem. So my question is this, have you ever battled your weight and how did you win the battle? What can you offer the listeners around that constant comparison to other people?

Barry Nicolaou: 22:47

First of all, um, comparison is the biggest trap that we fall into. Just putting weight aside for a minute, comparing yourself to others is so. It's archaic. It, it doesn't make sense. You don't, you don't compare two people on two different journeys that have two different skill sets and two different passions and a different purpose. It makes no sense, but the ego convinces us that we have to measure ourselves by someone else's standards. Right. So they go, oh, that person's skinnier, or That person's richer, or That person seems to have more joy, or That person just seems to be happier generally. And I think what we've gotta do is look at our internal environment before we look at our external environment, because I promise you something, if you can get your internal environment right, which means that if you can love yourself enough to realize that being overweight is not healthy. And that feeling has to supersede going for that piece of chocolate or not going for that exercise or, that run that you want to go for or not going for that walk around the block or, or, or not making yourself that healthy smoothie that you want to make for yourself or whatever it is. Right? The feeling of wanting to get better has to be at 51%. It has to be over the halfway mark because if you're consistently sitting at 47 or 48% and you have all the best intentions to want to, you know, keep the weight off or lose a few kilos, then it's not enough. You've gotta be uncomfortable enough to be able to go. Right. Enough is enough. This doesn't feel good anymore. My clothes aren't fitting me. I don't like the way I look in the mirror. I just don't feel healthy in myself. And when that day comes and that moment comes, that's the time to create an action plan and go, okay, what does it look like today? What do I, what am I gonna eat today? Um, what am I gonna eat a week from now, a month from now, a year from now? And start to look at those scenarios and go, and I, I promise you magic, you know what starts to happen? The first thing that starts to happen is that you won't see the weight drop off. The first thing that'll happen is you'll go, I've been trying, and it start look the same, but, uh, something will happen. You know what'll happen, you'll feel different. You'll be able to get up off the floor quicker. You'll be able to reach for something a little bit easier. You'll be able to climb those stairs without getting puffed. You'll feel better in yourself, right? And that feeling will eventually transcend a, and you look at your body and say a month and you'll go, Hey, these jeans fit differently now. Or, Hey, this top feels differently. Or, Hey, my tummy isn't where it was. It's actually feels a bit, and you'll start to feel different. That feeling, I'm letting you know, supersedes any wrong eating that you feel you've done over the last five or 10 years. So get to a point where you just go, okay, I'm gonna give myself a week here and I'm just gonna get to that week. I just wanna do seven days. I'm gonna see where I go with this. And after the seven day period, you go on a strict, say, nutrition and exercise routine, and you go right. Monday you've started and the Sunday you go, oh, look the same. I feel the same. But keep going. Go to week two. See how week two feels for you. At the end of week two, I guarantee you're gonna feel different because your muscles will have memory cuz you've been doing exercises, right? So you'll feel like you'll want to get moving, get involved, and then you'll look at that piece of cake and you'll look at that piece of chocolate, or you'll look at that second coffee and you'll look at whatever it is and you'll go, you are not worth it. Because this feels too good. You are not worth it. And like I had a, um, I'm 80 kilos, I'll be open with you, but my prime weight was about 76, 77. So I'm about four kilos over myself and I look at it and I go, I could probably lose those four, four kilos. Quickly. So I think, okay, so do I wanna lose those four kilos or am I comfortable where I am? And I think to myself, yeah, I wanna lose those four kilos. So, I don't know if, you know, last week I started on this kind of, I'm watching what I eat, and then I'm, I'm noticing magic that I'm feeling different, like it feels different. And this is something to keep in, keep in mind with everything, right? The feeling precedes the physical expression. And what I mean by that is this. When you go through a particular mindset shift and you start to shift what you begin to believe as a person, right? And then you see that this is healthy for you and this is, this feels right for you, right? The physical environment catches up at a later point. It doesn't happen instantaneously. Nothing happens instantaneously. Everything takes time, especially good things. Take time. Bad things happen quick. Good things take time. It's just the way it works, right? So you look at yourself and you go, this, this, this. I feel better inside. This feels fantastic. My internal environment is changing. You have your external en environment will change as a consequence. And this goes to everything. It's not just about weight loss, it's about everything. Like you will see situations, circumstances in life change just by cutting out certain people in your life. You will see that life hates the vacuum. It'll fill that void with people that are aligned and that people that are passionate about who you are and what you want to do, and they want to lift you up and they wanna help. They're the people I want around me. You know, they're the people you should want around you. Because then everyone lifts, everyone goes up. But if you consistently have good and bad people in your life and then wonder why you've consistently got good and bad experiences, and then, you know, it's almost like two and two is four, you know, like you go, well, I've done that and I've done that. It has to equal that. Like there's no way that it couldn't. So, so it's all about making sure that. This can shift and all of a sudden you, I promise you, you will see your external environment shift as well. So I don't know if that answers a weight loss question, but it definitely answers a life based question.

Magic Barclay: 28:55

It answers both actually. So that you go, now look, I wanna talk about this new book, move the Mountain. Yeah. What is it about, what can the listeners expect to learn from it when they buy it?

Barry Nicolaou: 29:08

Okay, so, I've delved deep into, understanding subconscious thought and the science behind creative visualization. So a lot of people use the word law of attraction, I believe in manifestation and I understand what vibration is. So, So I've looked at, in the book, I've looked at the science of, creative visualization and how thoughts become things. I'll give you a quick example, bit of a sneak peek. Okay. so you've got matter. So you've got skin and bone and you feel your hand and you go, well, this is a real barrier. I can feel my hand or I can feel my partner's arm, or whoever it is, right? And you take a microscope to matter and what do you get? you get cells, right? The doctor will say, you got cells in there. And then you go deeper still, you get molecules. And you go deeper still into the human body and you get these things called atoms, which most of us have heard of. You go deeper into atoms and you go, what's inside atoms? And what you get is subatomic particles. Little, little, tiny, little, you know, like a million on a, pinprick, right? and then you want to know more about your body and, and how thoughts germinate and how thoughts become things. And you go, what's inside subatomic particles. And you see these little things called quarks, Q U A R K S. You can Google them and have a look. Quarks change molecular structure under an electron microscope. They change molecular structure just by looking at them, just through observation. They will shift their molecular structure. And then you ask yourself the next question and you say, Well, what influences quarks to shift like that? And the only thing that that scientists can come up with is thought, thought influences, quarks that influences subatomic particles, atoms, uh, molecules, cells. And matter. Write up the food chain. So when we say thoughts become things, that's the science. That's the science behind. Every time you have a thought, you are giving an order to the universe. Every thought, especially if you back it with emotion. And that's what the book's about. we also look about, I dove deep into gratitude and I've looked at the four major religions in the world. and the four major religions are, uh, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Judaism. Right? And those four religions account for 83% of the world. So, Pretty insane, right? Like those four religions. And I thought, you know, let's look at some common ground here. Like, you know, if, if four masters came around the table, you know, if an is, if an Islamic cleric, you know, a Buddhist monk, a rabbi, and a priest all came around a table, and I'm sure this has happened in the world at some point, and, and they said, how do we get our people to find peace? How do we find our people? How do we get to common ground? I found that gratitude is in the literature of all four religions. Like all four, like it is in the crux of, of the literature of all four religions. So if you are at this table with these four people around you, you know, you would say, you know, being grateful is really important and none would oppose you. And that's what you need to do when you're dealing with conflict and when you're dealing with different personality types, you gotta find common ground, you gotta find the one thing that everyone agrees on, right? So everyone agrees on this. So, okay, so tell me about the, the Islamic version of gratitude. And, you know, he'll say, well, Muhammad in the Quran was to say that you will praise God every day for the rest of your life, forever and ever. And if you get a priest, he will talk about Christ and he will talk about how Christ was all about appreciation and thanking God every day. And you talk about Buddhism and the monk will say, you know, appreciation is in the, in the literature of. Of everything in our religion and you know, the rabbi will say the same, and you think to yourself, wow, you've gotta find that common ground. Gratitude is the great enabler. it makes what you have into enough at the same time as allowing more abundance into your life. So the more grateful you are, the more beautiful scenarios Enter. And when you're feeling, um, fearful or when you're feeling depressed or when you're feeling angry or when you're feeling frustrated at your life or your own decisions, try and leapfrog. If you can, try and leapfrog to what are the three things I'm grateful for right now? Like, let's just quickly name them before the mind has a chance to intersect here. I'm grateful for my health. I'm grateful for my family, and I'm grateful for. The money that I've got coming in, for example, right? And you go, okay, those three things are really happening right now. So even though I'm frustrated about that, wow, I've already got these cool things that are going on. And, and it'll get you, it'll change, it'll shift your energy from a, uh, woes me to a, okay, I've got this crappy situation going on over here, but you know, I've still got some pretty good things going on. Like, I've still got these really cool things going on. And wow, what an enabler that is for, for it. It might take us sometimes a few hours to get there. You might wanna stay in anger for a while, and that's okay. Like you can embrace the feeling, like if you are angry, stay angry, but don't live there. don't make it your default state of mind, and that's the problem. The longer you stay there, the more it will feel comfortable and the more it will feel like this feels normal, I'm gonna stay kind of angry because life's built me a really bad hand. I'm letting you know it's not the, it's not a great way to live if you've got children. You know what we were saying before? Magic. If you're not transforming through something, you're transmitting it. I'm letting you know, you could be angry at something and you don't know, but you are transmitting it to the children, and I don't know about you, but you don't want to pass that. They're gonna have their own issues to deal with, you know, let alone the issues that we need to transform through ourselves. So, Get to a point where you go, okay, this might be hurting people. I'm gonna try and realize that there's some still pretty good stuff going on in my life. There are people that love me. There are people that I really love, scenarios, opportunities, podcasts, great people around me that I can call, email, whatever, like balance the equation. Don't, don't stay in sorrow forever because it's, if you classify yourself as a fair person and that you've got clarity in your thoughts, then you've gotta come to a realization that you've got the good things that are happening, and you've got the bad things that are happening. If you stay in the bad continually for months and years ahead, you can't tell me that's fair on the mind or that's fair on your life or the people that you love, right? So you go, okay, I'm embracing it. I'm in it. I need some time to process what I'm going through, but I know that I'm not gonna stay here forever. I know I'm eventually gonna get

Magic Barclay: 35:43

out. can be as simple as, you know, at the end of the day, get a pen and paper and be thankful that your legs could carry you through the house. Absolutely. Or your eyes could see a flower bloom. Yeah. Or, you know, be thankful that. You have hair that you could brush because so many times, sometimes that can be taken away. Mm. And things that you ignore as they're just there. Mm. They're things that you can be grateful for.

Barry Nicolaou: 36:13

Hmm, absolutely. it's so true and you know, you asked me about this book. I've been looking at the great spiritual masters of the last two and a half thousand years magic, right? And I've looked at, um, gratitude and how they live their life. And what's interesting is this, You know, as human beings, we live at ordinary human awareness. Ordinary human awareness is concerned with being grateful for the good things that we've just mentioned. Right? Like, like, like simple things like being able to walk. Right. Exactly right. The spiritual masters of the last two and a half thousand years, they've embraced this, what we like to call higher human awareness and higher human awareness when it comes to gratitude, is thankful for all of it. Not just for the pleasure and for the joy and for the, they're actually grateful for the pain because they're saying, well, the pain has helped me understand something that I didn't know yet. So why would I not be grateful for me growing? And that's the mindset that they have. And you think to yourself, you know, God's ways are not necessarily man's ways. Right? And, and you get to a level where, wow, like I. You are on a plane, you're looking at the aerial view of the ground and you're looking at all the streets and the cars and everything. God has that view of your life. The source has that view of your life, right? And the spiritual masters on that plane are experiencing turbulence right now. And they're up there and the planes getting a bit shaky and there's thunderstorms and everything, and you're looking at the ground going. I hope we don't crash. Then the plane lands safely on the tarmac. You know, everyone's kind of clapping and they're going, yes, we made it. Thank you, God for letting us not die. In that thunderstorm and the masters, there's four masters are sitting on the plane and they are saying, thank you for the plane ride. Despite the turbulence, not because we landed safely. And that's the difference. You've gotta try and get to a situation in your life and it's very, very hard to do because we have hurtful experiences that that, that give us so much trauma and that affect us. Right. But try and understand their mindset, which is, appreciate all of it, appreciate the fact that you're overweight right now, but you're gonna lose it. Appreciate the fact that you've got some family members that are not getting on, but you're gonna show yourself more self-love. Appreciate the fact that not in the job that you love right now, but it's gonna change. Like you're gonna get into what you love because you're committed to it, right? You're all in. So appreciate that those moments are also happening right now as well. And where you are right now is a segue to get to where you want to go. Like, look at it in that instance as well. Like, like you cannot be where you want to be unless you're going through what you're currently going through. Like it is a rite of passage. It is a baptism of fire. You've gotta be in this predicament. So God says, okay, I need you to become uncomfortable enough that you make a shift. And, and yes, I can zap you with beautiful feelings, and yes, I can give you a crutch and yes, I can help you do this and that, but I need you to know. That I have given you everything you need and you live in a time that people, resources, situations are all there to also assist you, and you will find me through those people. You will find his love, God's love through those people, through these podcasts. Magic. That's why it's so important that you're doing this, that God is shining his light through you right now. And he's shining his light through me and millions of other people in the world who are inspiring and want people to live full beautiful lives. God is inspiring through them to let people know that you've got this. This is within your capabilities to change. Now I'm here for you and I can do anything you want. You just pray, and I'm here, but I'm letting you know as well. You've got. What it takes and the right people, the right circumstances, the right situations will attract themselves to you. But first, this has to change to be able to change direction of what, of what you're bringing into your experience. And if you can just do that. Oh my God. Like people will think you're a miracle maker. People will think, well, that's kind of a small miracle. Barry, how did you achieve that? And I'll say the same thing that everyone says is, I've just changed what enters my mind and what I believe to be true about the world and myself. And then the world has gone, oh, Barry's changed direction. I now have to show him this part of life and that part of life is what I want. So, so you are the person that holds that view. Like you've, you've got choice of thought, you've got choice of belief, and you've got choice of who you hang around a friendship influence circle. You've got those choices. No one's forcing you to do anything. So if you are not getting where you want to be or if you're not achieving what you truly desire, you have to look at the internal environment and just ask some really honest questions and just say, Hey, could I be sabotaging myself here? Could I be doing it to myself? Could it have nothing to do with the chocolate? Could it have everything to do with me? And that's a question that all of us have to answer individually in our private moments. you know, I'm being Greek. There's this Greek saying that I've always loved and I'd love to pass it on magic. And they say, when you point fingers, There's three fingers pointing back at you. See how there's three fingers on my screen pointing back at me? So point at something with your thumb up and your index finger and see how there's three fingers pointing back. That's a metaphor for life. When you start pointing fingers at something, just be aware that it's usually triple the amount coming back to you that you have to go, okay. I have no right to judge someone else when I've got things that I haven't worked through. I. So how about I start working on myself before I start articulating what they should be doing or what why they're not doing the right thing or you know, how about I just focus on me? And the more you do that, the more you'll be less judgmental on others because you realize that judgment is a horrible feeling. Like when someone judges you or when you judge yourself, let me know how that works for you. Cuz it's horrible, right? So you start to judge less of others and you start to, cultivate. That inner environment, that inner feeling of wanting to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

Magic Barclay: 42:46

Yeah, very much so. Now, we've covered so much here before I let you go, please, we love freebies. So what can you offer listeners and where can they find

Barry Nicolaou: 42:55

it? Okay, so if you go to my website, just go to Barry nico out.com, send me a private message and I'll um, I'm but in the habit of giving out free books right now. But it sent me, for the top five people that, that messaged me through either Instagram or through, um, my own website. I'll send them a free book,

Magic Barclay: 43:15

so that's www dot b a. Double R Y N I C O L A O u.com. First five people to send Barry a message. You get a book that

Barry Nicolaou: 43:30

fantastic, you go send me your address as well so I know where to send it to.

Magic Barclay: 43:36

Brilliant. Barry, I've really enjoyed having you on and I would love if you could rejoin us one day No problem. Maybe when you have your next book coming out. because you truly do live a magical life, and that's what I encourage the listeners to

Barry Nicolaou: 43:50

do. Yeah. Yeah. It's within all of us magic. It is within all of us. Just, uh, take that divinity that you have inside you and claim that power of, you know, you're a, you're a spark of the almighty creator of the universe. Like, what can you not do? You know?

Magic Barclay: 44:09

Exactly. Exactly. Thank you so much for your time today, Barry. Listeners, thank you for your time. Go forth and create your magical life.