A Holistic Approach to Beating Imposter Syndrome and Achieving Success and Peace with Sheryl Anjanette

Today I welcome Sheryl Anjanette, a bestselling author, international speaker, and CEO of Anjanette Wellness Academy, famous for her work on eliminating imposter syndrome and banishing burnout. Sheryl shares insights into how her background and mindfulness training aid in her work. We will delve into the details about imposter syndrome, its deep-rooted connections to self-worth and value, and how to overcome those feelings.

Sheryl and I will talk about her holistic methodology for overcoming imposter syndrome and nurturing the 'inner child' within us. She also shares information about her group program, a six-month voyage focused on transformed thinking and achieving life-changing breakthroughs.


Learn more about Sheryl's books and coaching at https://www.sherylanjanette.com/

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Transcript

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Welcome back to a magical life. I'm your host, magic Barclay. And today Cheryl and Jeanette joins us. Cheryl is a best selling author, international speaker, thought leader, and the CEO of Anjanette. Wellness Academy. Her 30 year business background intersects with her vast mindfulness training that includes integrative hypnotherapy, NLP, and clinical and advanced certifications in cognitive behavioral neuroscience and stress, anxiety, and self. Regulation. She works with individuals, small groups, and organizations to eliminate imposter syndrome and banish burnout. Welcome, Cheryl. Thank you. Good to be here. Great to have you here. And something I didn't mention, you have a new book. What is it called? I do. It's called The Imposter Lies Within. Silence your inner critic, tame your fear, unleash your badassery. Wow. I love that. Now, listen, I'm going to get straight into my standard three questions. Everyone gives me such different answers and I'm really excited about yours. So the first one is what can your expertise do to accelerate health, not just physical, but also emotional and spiritual health? So really to accelerate health, whether it's physical or emotional, I think that it's important to start with a vision of what that looks like for you and the belief that you can do it. See yourself feeling good, feeling happy, feeling balanced, see yourself looking the way you want to look, see yourself with the energy that you want to have. So that's the first place. That's what really will accelerate it. Act as if you're already there, and then you can do the things to get there. The actual things you do will depend on what you're trying to accomplish, but the how to is usually there, as long as you have the right questions. As long as you have the right questions and you can see yourself, you envision yourself with that belief. And we'll talk more about imposter syndrome in depth in a moment, but your second question is around wealth. So many people think wealth is just financial, but it can be emotional and personal wealth as well. What are your top three tips to creating wealth? know what that means to you. I mean, if you want to create wealth, what does that mean for you? Just as you said, magic is, is it wealth in terms of love? Do you want that abundance to meet wealth is abundance, right? Abundance of love, abundance of joy, abundance of peace of mind. You I Think the most important thing to do is start with what that means for you. And, you know, I think of wealth as abundance. So is it abundance of love is an abundance of joy. Is it an abundance of peace of mind? It can be money. You know, it could be that you want to have enough so that if you need to do something, if you need to care for somebody, if you want to take a trip, it's there, you know, you don't have to worry about it. You don't have to think about it. So, you know, that's. That the most important thing is know what wealth is for you, what the abundance peaceful fight for you. So that's the first thing, knowing what wealth means for you. I guess another couple of tips from you on how we can achieve that. Well, the way to achieve. Anything like knowing for yourself is to ask enough questions where you're uncovering and discovering, you know, I never start with one question. It's almost like a, at least a series of three questions. What is your belief about that? What does that mean to you? Oh, really? And what does that mean? So if you say you want an abundance of love, an abundance of love in what area? Is it with your relationship? Is it with your Children? Is it family? What does that mean? Independence of love? How does it make you feel? What happens? in your mind, in your heart, in your body, what changes in your life for you. I want to know what the full picture is. It's not, I want to know, I want you to know because you're the one that's on this journey. You know what you want, what you're seeking is to fit the, what I would be seeking. So as you're looking at this and what does that mean to you, ask more questions, dig deep, uncover, discover, be like Sherlock Holmes. You know, because then you're going to get to the heart of it. And I'll bet you that at the heart of it, there is a subconscious belief. There is a belief that your conscious mind in that first question did not see, you know, it could be a belief that you don't deserve it, or you're not worthy. it could be a belief that you can't get it because you've never had it, you know, or people like you don't get that kind of wealth or that kind of love. So at the core of that, there is a belief. We want to get to that belief because beliefs are changing. Fantastic. And our final question is around weight loss. So many people battle with their weight. Have you ever battled your weight? If so, how did you win the battle and what can you offer the listeners? Who might be on this journey? Yes, I have. You know, I came from a family. Let's talk about physical weight because I think there's emotional weight and there's both and sometimes they're intertwined. So let's talk about the physical weight. both of my parents were obese growing up. My mother was extraordinarily obese. So she wore the big tent dresses. My father was just a husky. Guy. So I had to be really, really like, you know, I was just kind of marinated in that. I was always very thin. I didn't eat much. I didn't really care that much about food, but my subconscious mind was seeing certain behaviors. If that makes So that totally makes sense. How did you, I guess, distinguish the, the weight that your mother had? As not being part of your life, I think many of us as, as women, you know, we see what our mothers are going through and we just think that's the way our pathway is going to be. You know, for some reason I'm not, it wasn't a conscious thing, but subconsciously, I do realize this now as an adult, that I never felt like I was part of that. I felt like I was, I always felt that was so different from my family. And so I was just very, very quiet. I didn't say anything. but it did come to get me. I mean, there were periods in my life where I, I remember having a trauma, my late teens and my first year of college and I gained, you know, like We say gain lose. I hate to use those words with weight, but you know, I took on 20 pounds, whatever that is in kilograms, depending on where you're listening. And that's a lot, you know, I'm a tall girl, but that's a lot. And then I was able to let it go and reset that. But there was some emotional eating and I realized that I witnessed that, you know, that was. part of my conditioning. And so now I just have to watch it. I pay attention to unconscious habits, you know, that I realized I picked up. And then as far as the other type of way, I think weight is often the emotional way, you know, it's, it's not always, but usually our emotions are part of that. So like I say, everyone's different. but it was that emotional weight, and that's what I work on with people today as a hypnotherapist. I help them to release that emotional weight. And sometimes also the physical weight, you know, the two go together. But releasing the trapped emotions, the heavy emotions that were unexpressed, that had been repressed. Some great stuff there. Now let's talk imposter syndrome. Many of us have it. I'm aware that I have it and you know, it can stop us. It can, I guess, rear up as I'm not good enough. I don't know enough. I haven't worked in this job long enough. I'm not a good mother. Like we, we think these things quite often and we see ourselves playing these prophecies out. And it's all due to this thing called imposter syndrome. Can you explain to listeners what it is and how it might be creeping into their lives? Yes, absolutely. So first and foremost, let's just define what imposter syndrome is because there's a lot of confusion out there. So imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where someone feels like they're not good enough in spite of their accomplishments. Now, I want you to give emphasis to the fact that it's a pattern, right, because this is habitual. It's not just our behaviors, but our beliefs, our thoughts, our self talk become patterned. And also that it's in spite of, in other words, there's a disconnect between our actual accomplishments and how we feel about them. Between reality, you might say, and perception. So we internalize this feeling of not good enough, even though there's evidence to the contrary. We are good enough. And that's why it's really strange, right? You know, it's like, okay, wait, it's right there. My conscious mind can see it. I have the degrees. I've done this. I'm, I'm successful. And yet no matter what it is, I feel like I'm going to be found out as not being as good as other people think I am. So there's just that disconnect. Now, one of the things that and this is just my working with people, one of the things that this is a small thing that some of these small things are big, right, is the first thing I'd like to encourage people if I can is to I'll tell you two things. One is, rather than saying that you have it, um, which kind of tells your subconscious mind that you own it, this is yours, I like to say we experience it. I don't own this. I'm, this is part of an experience I'm having. You know, an experience is easier to put in the past. Just like, you know, saying I have a disease. I have asthma. I have cancer. I have whatever that is. Depression. I'd rather say I'm experiencing this. Doesn't that sound like it's something that's easier to kind of set outside of me? It's not mine. I'm not going to own it. And the second thing I like to say is a lot of people will say I suffer from this or I struggle with this. And I, I would say this about anything. It's not that you don't. It's not that there isn't real struggle there. It doesn't, maybe, maybe it does feel like you're suffering. And maybe there is real suffering. But again, our subconscious mind is always listening. So if the goal is to get past this, to put this in the past, it's really helpful. I invite people to I don't say, I never say you have to do anything, or you must do anything but I was invite people to, to say you, you're experiencing it so you'll always hear me say, I used to experience imposter syndrome, or the experience of imposter syndrome syndrome as an example, if that makes sense. Yeah. Some great distinctions there. Thank you. So what predisposes people to experience imposter syndrome? Is it societal? Is it media? Is it our idea of what success should look like? Like, what is the predisposition there? Yeah. So really what I like to look at that is, is your belief system. And we're not necessarily predisposed, but it can feel that way because it goes so deep. So when we look at overcoming imposter syndrome, at least through my methodology, we do what I call an inside out and an outside in approach. And the inside out is really looking for the root cause really. Going in deep and saying, where did these deep seated beliefs come these feelings of I'm not good enough, or I'm not worthy or I'm not deserving well my, my voice doesn't matter, or I don't matter. Right. Who cares who would want to hear from me why should I raise my hand. I better play small. These are all deep seated beliefs, and the majority of them came when we were quite young and then they just got layered on. So what happens is, We're very young, and these can come later as well but let's just start with when we're very young kind of that. Those imprint years three to seven years old, and we have our experiences, but it's not so much the experience but the meaning. We gave it the interpretation we had at that age and at that stage. So, I'm three years old, or I'm five years old, and something happens and I think, Ooh, I'm not good enough. Right. Well my little mind, and by the way, our minds, regardless of what age, look for evidence to make us right, it's just the way we're wired so something else happens. And I think, Oh. There it is. You see, I'm not good enough. And it layers on and layers on add to that, that our minds are wired with a negative bias. So if it's something that is. And if it's negative, I'm going to latch on to it even more, because our minds simply have the, that primitive part of our minds simply haven't evolved where our brains are looking to keep us safe our minds are looking to keep us safe so I'm going to always have that. threat alert of what is negative, what could be wrong, what could be a threat. And my mind is going to give more weight to that. So I start to layer this on and layer it on. Oh, something else happens. You see, I'm not good enough. Oh, you see, nobody cares. Nobody cares what I have to say, or I shouldn't speak up. Children are meant to be seen, not heard that sort of thing. Does that make sense? And so we're not necessarily predisposed. But in a way, you know, and as I think about it, magic, in some ways, you could almost say that we are just because our minds are wired towards the negative. And yet, many people come out of childhood, and still don't have that disconnect, you know, they may think, maybe I'm not good enough, but I am good enough and that confidence is quite strong. So it's not that everyone experiences this, it's just. Very, very common. Something like now, 85 percent of people experience this. That's some pretty shocking statistics there. I mean, 85 percent of people are walking around thinking they're not enough. That's actually quite sad. Yeah, it really, it really is. Now add to that with imposter syndrome, obviously we have to get on in the world. We have to, you know, go through life, have our career, our families, you know, go out in the world and create these different relationships. And so we learn, we pay attention and we learn what to say, how to be, how to feel our fear and do things anyway, at least. Some of the time, or most of the time, you know, even when we're afraid. And so what happens is we sort of put on our confidence suit, and we go out there but inside, we feel like we're a fraud we feel like we have to hide from the world that we're really not that good, that we're kind of acting. the world doesn't see us that way. It's not that we're actually an imposter and it's not that other people think we're an imposter, it's that we feel like we're the imposter. That's very sobering that, that thought that so many people think they're imposters now, what led you to writing the book? Is it just from your practice, from your experience? Why do you think this information is so important to get out there? Well, you know, I worked in the business world for, you know, 30 years. And I've been the entrepreneur three times. I've, you know, I've had. Successful businesses. I've been the C in the C suite, you know, and you never get to the C suite. You don't become an executive if you haven't had all the positions. So I've been around business and I was always very interested in corporate health. I like to see people succeed. And I, I like to see people enjoy what they're doing, you know, really thrive. So I did this deep dive into the healing arts many years ago, and I'm an integrated hypnotherapist and you've mentioned all this NLP, etc. And so, at the time, I was really working with people to help them with manifestation. You know, in the business world, in their entrepreneurial life. And as I was going through, we were looking at kind of the ways most people look at manifestation, but I put my gap analyst hat on and I would say, listen, you know, we're always manifesting. You know, that is just that we're calling in, whatever we're putting out there the energy, the thoughts, but are you manifesting by design or by default and as I looked at this most of the people that I was working with felt like they were doing all the things they were all the things, you know, Thinking the right thoughts and saying their affirmations. And, and yet they were calling in more of what they already had or the opposite of what they wanted really manifesting haphazardly. And as I looked at imposter syndrome, I said, you know, that's the foundation. That's where the cracks are. You know, this, these deep seated beliefs of not good enough, not worthy, not deserving at the conscious level, which is really only 10 percent of our total consciousness. We can. feel like we're saying the right things and doing all the right things, but if we have an internalized feeling and, and kind of hidden thoughts and self talk that are out of alignment with that, We're just sending mixed messages. So I, I looked at this. This is actually something I really talked about in the introduction of the book. And I thought, you know what, we need to fix the foundation before we can build the house. This is where attention is needed. And so I started to do a lot of market research. And in my market research, it wasn't just looking at what other people had found. I certainly did that. But I was on an audio app. I was opening up rooms. I was bringing in panels and I had people coming in and I was just listening, listening, asking a lot of questions and That is how I came to this holistic methodology because I didn't see it out there. It seemed so obvious to me. And yet I didn't see anyone taking kind of this really holistic, comprehensive approach to get past this. And the, and I, it was frustrating for me because I would hear people say, well, you know, imposter syndrome, yet everybody has it. And you just have to live with it and you should just normalize it. It's just normal, you know, you're never going to get over it. And I thought, no, no, no, no, no. I don't believe that. You know, I'm stubborn. There has to be a way to get past this. There's no reason that we should have to live with this because it's painful. It is. And I. I have seen in my own experience, some of the most successful people still doubting themselves. And, you know, they have everything. It's almost like they're Midas with the golden touch. And yet they still feel less than, they still feel like they're trapped within. It's quite scary when you can see that. It is. And somebody's saying, Oh, but look, you're good. You have all this, you know, it doesn't do anything because the subconscious mind, those beliefs are so, so strong and they're so deeply buried and there's so much suppressed emotion around it. And we just are unaware. So So to really get past that, and by the way, when you say really highly accomplished people, listen, Albert Einstein, Tina Fey, Sheryl Sandberg, right? Um, Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, I mean, the list goes on and on, 85%, but these are not just beginners. These are highly accomplished people, CEOs, celebrities, thought leaders, world leaders, and you and me. So, It's pervasive and it's common, but it should not be normalized because as soon as we normalize something, we create a set point. We accept it as our new normal. So I say reject that, reject normalizing it, um, but understand that it is common, which means you're not alone. It's not everyone. It's 85%, 15 percent of people then do not experience this. So let's. Choose to be part of the 15%, but there's a way past it. So when you do the deep dive, and again, as an integrative hypnotherapist, what I do, and I do this all over the world, you know, I do this remotely, but I help people go back, and to find the root cause and to meet that child at that age and at that stage and allow that child to emote. We listen to, you know, your little girl, your little boy, right? We let them emote because they either were not allowed to, no one was listening, or they were so young they didn't have the words, a way to express the fear, the confusion, the doubt. And then we heal that we help them change that story. And it's not that an experience didn't happen. But oftentimes, we've misinterpreted it because our little minds, you know, saw an experience like it's dark, or they're monsters in the closet. I'll give the example that everyone knows there's monsters in the closet. No, see, let's turn on the light. You see there really are no monsters in the closet. So sometimes, it's easy to change the story because we can show them, and we can listen to them. Yeah. And we can say, you see, I know you're afraid, but look, there's nothing to be afraid of. And look, we're safe. Look, look at how well we're doing. You know, other times there really was trauma. There really was drama, right? It, it was difficult. So we're not going to change the experience, but we can change the meaning that that child, not the adult, the child gave to it. We can help them rewrite the story. We can show them that they are safe, that they are safe, that, that we're doing okay, and that they are loved and that their voice matters. And then we help that child to heal and we bring them back in as into the fully integrated adult, because that's what our inner child is. When it's wounded, it's almost like apart from us. We call it our parts, but it's almost like it feels like it's apart from us. And so we hope to integrate that child. And that's a lot, not all of it. That's a lot of the, that subconscious mind, and then the repatterning. is really important because we do have neurological pathways in our brain. And as I said, our thoughts become patterned, our beliefs become patterned, our, our self talk becomes patterned. And so we need to practice. if you want to get past imposter syndrome, I try not to say we, you have to do this. You have to do that. I don't believe in superlatives, but I invite people that really do want to get past it to understand that repatterning can take some time. We have to create new neurological pathways in the, in the brain, and we have to let the old one sort of become extinct. So it's a matter of practicing. Catching the thoughts, changing them, catching the self talk, you know, I actually go back and I do a whole belief reset, which is clearing old beliefs and replacing them with new ones and letting, letting them really root in. And it sounds, Ooh, but it's actually quite scientific. So many people, I guess, now have an idea. Of imposter syndrome, what they're looking for, the patterns, the, maybe the early childhood or the inner child expression of this, what are some ways forward? Once you've recognized this, you've, you've mentioned a few techniques and tools here, but what are some ways forward? Like how do people work with you? How do they get past this blockage? Yeah, such an important question. So if you're trying to, if you choose to do this on your own, I would encourage you to take a holistic approach. I would encourage people in sometimes that's scary because things have been buried for so long, but I do have some meditations that help people kind of go in and meet their inner child and look for those things. Um, But I would encourage to do the inside and the outside in my book I have 20 exercises throughout the book so you can start by getting the book, if you're interested in that because that really does take you on a journey. It takes you from awareness to insight to alignment to integration. And people really refer to it almost like having a book and a workbook in one. They'll dog ear it, they'll highlight it. But if you do those exercises, they really do work. And it takes you into those, those different stages, the awareness. if you're interested, I find it sometimes difficult to do all of this on your own because we, it's hard to find, it's easy to self sabotage, you know? And, uh, so, I do a couple of things. I work with people one on one. But because so many people like the idea of a group and having that whole support. I also created a group program. So that's another way to do it. And the group program is really nice. I call it a voyage past self sabotage and the truth is we get you past imposter syndrome, not just self sabotage, but it's a six month voyage. And I call it a voyage because I don't believe that we need just another course. SO often we know, we know, we know, but then we feel, you know, and it's really important to get from knowing to doing. We need to traverse that gap. We need to find a way past the knowing into the doing, the actual transformation. And so I put this group together with the learning, but the, the coaching. The group coaching, and then the group and what has happened through that process, is that we have 100 percent success rate, people are having the major breakthroughs, and their lives are changing, you know, they're stepping up, they're feeling good about taking on opportunities, they're getting excited, instead of anxious about the different opportunities, they're asking for their worth, they're raising their hand, you know, they're feeling confident. And, you know, where they might have equated that with arrogance, they don't see it that way anymore, they just feel quietly confident, they feel good about their accomplishments, they're connecting they're aligned and so that's a really nice way to do it. And then, you know, if it's not the course, if it's not one on one, if it's not the book, there are some really good exercises, things you can do that will help you just move forward and feel better. But to truly get past it, I think it requires doing the inside out work as well as the outside in. I think it really takes a holistic approach. Fantastic. Now people can find you@cherylangenette.com. You are also Cheryl Angenette at LinkedIn. You're on Instagram and Clubhouse at Cheryl Angenette. Now, you did mention. A few little gifties there before. So where can people find these freebies? Is that on your website? Yeah, so I do have some freebies. I have a quiz. So if you want to take the imposter syndrome quiz, you'll immediately get not only your score, but some strategies. in your inbox that's available on my website. I have an ebook also available on my website called Unlock the Secret Code to Your Subconscious Mind. the book itself is not free but it's low cost so you can go to Amazon anywhere in the world and depending on what you get whether it's paperback, the hardback, uh, the Kindle version, you know, the cost is in at least in dollars is anywhere from, I think, 12 to maybe 28, depending on which one you get. and then through my website, you can also inquire about working with me or anything else that I offer. Certainly. Fantastic. Cheryl, thank you so much for joining us. This has been a really great juicy interview. So I love it. Oh, thank you. Thank you. I'm so honored to be with you and listeners. Thank you for your time. Don't forget to leave us reviews on Spotify, Apple, wherever you're listening to us and head on over to our Facebook page, which is at a magical life podcast. And for now go forth and create your magical life.