Golden Values

In episode 24 we discussed shadow values, what they are, and what they do for you.  If you missed that one or need a reminder, that episode is here.

On the other side of shadow values are golden values.  Golden values are the things that you prize the most, that you hold most important in your heart of hearts.  Golden values are the things that make you tick.  When you are driven by your shadow values, you're seeking secondary gain, often in a negative way, to make you feel more satisfied.  On the other hand, if you are driven by your golden values, your shadow values are fulfilled in a positive way.

Over the next week, I want you to journal about what things make you you.  Spend several minutes writing, then come back later and ask yourself if those things are truly non-negotiable.  Revisit this list several times over the next week and really figure out what it is that keeps you moving forward to your ideal life.

What are the most important things to you in the world that stop you from fulfilling shadow values in a negative way?  What keeps you going every day? What makes you tick? What makes you strive to be the best person you can be?

When you live a life that strives to fulfill and support your golden values, you're living a life of integrity, where you set the bar higher each day for yourself.

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Transcript

0:02

Welcome to a magical life, health, wealth and weight loss. I'm your host Magic Barclay, lead practitioner at Wholistic Natural Health Australia, and number one best selling author. In this podcast, I aim to give you practical tips on how to accelerate and sustain your health, increase your financial, spiritual and emotional wealth. And to look at something that haunts many of us needlessly - weight loss. In some episodes, I'll have guests available to give you even more tips. But in others, the floor is yours. Drop us a line at a magical life podcast on Facebook and let me know what you would like to know more about. Now sit back and enjoy because it is time for you to create and truly discover a magical life. Welcome back to A Magical Life. I'm your host Magic Barclay and today I am talking to you about golden values. Now, back in Episode 24, we discussed shadow values. And in fact, many of our guests have referred to shadow values when we've had discussions with them. So what are golden values? Well, to understand those, you need to grasp the shadow values and what they do. Now we've already gone through them, so I'm not going to waste your time going through them again. But when we are driven by our shadow values, we're often driven by a thing called secondary gain. Now why is that? And why are the shadow values kicking in? When we're not getting something that fulfills us, that drives us that positively encourages us day to day, what we're actually doing is we're creating a secondary gain from the shadow values. Quick example here might be I'm a control freak. So I might seek to control things around me negatively because that's my secondary gain. On the flip side, you have your golden values. Now they're the things that drive you. They're the things that make you you, they make you tick, but they're positive things, that you can fulfill your shadow values in a positive way to reach your golden values. Now I have three, no actually I have four golden values, Family. My family is my highest golden value. Everything I do is so I can create a magical life for my family, for my animals, for my kids, for my extended family. My golden value is family. My top golden value is family. So when I'm doing something like creating this podcast, for me, yes, I want to help you the listener. But I want to leave a legacy that my children can be proud of. They can say my mom, the podcast host. Not only that, but they can listen to the podcast, and really get some value out of it. And they might hear just one thing from one of our wonderful guests, and that will help them create their magical life and guess what? My golden value is family. So when my family is happy and healthy and succeeding and enjoying their lives, my golden value is fulfilled. Another of my golden values is the environment. Now I talk a lot about environmental connection. And why because the environment is one of my highest golden values. So I try and create a footprint in a world that is less toxic. That is less wasteful. If I don't need it, then I don't want it. Now don't get me wrong. My home is full of things that absolutely have no use but I like them. But I make sure that my environmental footprint of those things is lessened because I have that connection that environmental connection. The food that I buy is organic. The wood products that I buy are made from bamboo. Sustainably sourced and ethically sourced bamboo. I make sure that we only use the heating and the cooling when absolutely necessary because guess what, we've got windows and we will open them. I try and make sure I'm connected to the environment. I recently went on a zoo trip with my son and some friends. And while I was there a possum came up to me. She had heatstroke. It was a 38 degree day. This little possum had heatstroke and I'm a wildlife rescuer in my spare time because the environment, and my environmental connection, is a golden value. So this little possum came up towards me suffering terribly from heatstroke, I picked her up and nestled her into my arm, I was stroking her, calming her down, cooling her down because I put cool water on my hands, I was smoothing that over her fur. So that the small breeze that there was would cool her body temperature down. Now my friends were kind of standing around going, well, are we going to keep moving? I had to wait for a vet to come and get this possum. And my friends understood that we weren't going anywhere till this possum was looked after because one of my golden values is my environmental connection. And I understood that. And so I've actually created a friendship circle that understand that I'm going to put my golden values ahead of the day out. What happened once the possum was taken by the vet, I called my son who was on the other side of the zoo. And I find him and I said, I just did a rescue in the middle of the zoo. Why? Because family is a golden value. And I want him to be proud of me. I'm not bragging or how good am I that I rescued this possum. I just was so happy that I did it, that I wanted him to be happy that I did it too. Because my golden values drive me and I knew that he would have had a smile on his face knowing that I did a possum rescue. He was also happy knowing I was walking around with my friends who I hadn't seen for so long. And I was really enjoying what nature could provide these wonderful animals that I will probably never get the chance to see in the wild. But I have the brilliant opportunity to see them at the zoo, in conservation kind of exhibits so they're in their natural habitat. And they happy and unhappy. And I'm fulfilling my golden value. So it's just a couple of my golden values. Number one, of course is health. Now this podcast at this stage is not monetized. I pay my editor to edit these episodes so you don't just have me rambling on about rubbish for half an hour. You actually have a way of getting gleaning some great stuff from these episodes. Why do I do it? Because health is a golden value. And I want to be able to share that and share my passion for with you through this podcast. It's something that's free, that you can download for free, and I can share my golden value with you. Do I need to control things? Not really, I handed control to my podcast editor. I do not control the way she edits these podcasts. Do not control the final thing that you hear when you download it. Because I do not need secondary gain through control because I'm fulfilling my golden value of health. So this is where golden values can kick in. Now how do you work out what your golden values are? Easy. I want you to get a piece of paper. I want you to really think. Now this is not like a five second thing to do. I want you over maybe the space of a week to think about what drives you. What are the most important things to in the world that stop you from fulfilling shadow values in a negative way or getting your secondary gain What are they? And when you've done that, maybe spend a couple of minutes on that, put it aside, gone live your life, and come back to it maybe the next day or the next evening. And look at what you've written down and say, do these things resonate with me Are these my golden values? Are these my absolute must haves not negotiables, this is what my life is about. And if they're not, go and do something, distract yourself, find something to do, then come back to it. Now many people have maybe two golden values, I have three or four of them. And that's okay. You could have eight of them. And that's okay. But they are the things that make you tick, the things that you believe so passionately about, that every cell in your body wants to work towards that every cell in my body wants to work towards health, and sharing my knowledge of health with people. Every cell in my body wants to support my family. Now, when I say support, I don't mean pay for everything a family does. It's it's not about financial support. It's about everything I do. Not only resonates with my family, but keeps us together as a family creates that bond creates that emotional wealth. Now the golden value is environment, my environmental connection. So everything I do, is going to be about my environmental connection. Now I'm no saint, I drive a car, we use a lot of electricity in my house. So I know that my environmental impact or my my carbon footprint is not that of a monk. But I balanced that and I keep that in check with my wildlife rescue. With my gardening, I have a native garden so that the local animals and birds can benefit from it. I'm not a big believer in ornamental flowers. Because I would rather the bees get to use the flowers. So if I'm on a date, and someone brings me flowers, guess what, I'm not gonna be too happy. So I warn them now. I appreciate that, you know, you might want to get me some flowers, but I'm going to tell you, I'd rather have a plant that I can put my garden that can live, I can nurture it, it can create some good for the environment. Rather than having some flowers in a vase that will die a few days later or a week later, and have to go into the greenwaste. So for me, my golden values drive everything that I do. So what are your golden values? What makes you tick, what makes you do the things that you do? Golden values need to have a positive spin. It's not about light love and rainbows. It's about what makes you keep going every day, what makes you strive to be the best person you can be. You are not negotiables the things that you are never going to put second to anything else in the world. So again, I asked you to stop thinking about what your golden values are. You could have seven of them. You could have one of them. You could have two of them. You know three or four of them like me. No matter what they are. They are what make you tick. And when you are living a life that strives to fulfill and support your golden values. You're living a life of integrity of self worth and self esteem. You are living a life where you set the bar higher each day for yourself because any golden value cannot be fulfilled. Once or twice, you want to fulfill it seven or eight times a day, you just want it to be the driver that keeps you on track of your life. And what you will find is when you are striving to fulfill your golden values, that other things will just fall into place. Now along the years, I'm almost 49. So along the years, I've had friends come and go. I've had family members come and go. And that's okay. What's that saying that you can have a friend for a reason, or you can have a friend for a season, I think you can have a friend for both. Because sometimes friends, or extended family or husbands or wives may not fit with your pursuit of your golden values. And you're not going to stay friends with someone for years and years. If you get that really icky feeling in the pit of your stomach when you're around them. Because guess what, that's your body saying, this person does not fit with your golden values. I'm going to make you so uncomfortable around this person, you start limiting your exposure. Now, one such scenario happened to me. I had a very good friend, that we were almost joined at the hip, we'd been through similar circumstances, I would have done anything for her. And she would have done anything for me. But as time grew on, I could see why she wanted to blame people for her circumstance. She wanted to blame situations for where she was in her life. She was not connected to my family, she was connected to me. So when I would say you know, this is what my kids are doing, she would tune out, I'd go, hang on. They're like one of the most important things in the world to me. Why aren't you listening? When I talked to her about the environment, and I said, you know, let's go for a walk, we used to live in a small country town, there was bush right on the doorstep. So let's go for a walk and really enjoy what's out there. She didn't want to do that. She wanted to stay inside and watch the TV and talk while we're in there. In fact, I don't think she'd ever been for a walk into the bush that surrounded our town. I said I want to get healthy. At this stage, I was still quite unwell. I want to get healthy. Let's do this. Or let's do this, or let's talk about this. She'd be sitting there eating McDonald's while we're talking and I could not work out for a long time why being around this person that I felt so connected to made me feel so... ick. Ick is the only word for it to describe it. When I learned about golden values, I learned that this person was there for a season, she was there for a reason, but she didn't need to be there in my life anymore. Do we have a fight? No. Just lost contact. I moved out of the town. Last contact I think of her every now and then and I wish her nothing but health and wellness. But does she need to be part of my life? No. Why? Because she doesn't support my pursuit of my golden values. I now have other friends who do do that. And they're the people I want to surround myself with. Because when I'm around those people, I'm not blaming a situation, blaming a person or a scenario. I'm too busy seeking what makes me tick. So I hope that explains a little bit about golden values. I would encourage you to think about what your golden values are, what makes you tick, who's in the driver's seat of your soul. Basically, that's your golden values. And in the pursuit of fulfilling those, you will find that your emotional wealth that your physical health and your self belief and self encouragement will increase. This was Episode 46 Golden values. In Episode 47, we have Elise Peck coming back talking to us about polarity, which is creating chemistry and attraction. And I think actually, we may even touch on golden values a little. So again, thank you for listening to me about golden values. I really do encourage you to work out what yours are. But for now, go forth and create your magical life. Thanks for listening today. Please subscribe to hear future episodes, leave a review and share this podcast. You can follow us on Facebook at a magical life podcast for at Wholistic Natural Health Australia that's holistic with a W. You can find us on Instagram, at Wholistic Natural Health or at www dot Wholistic Natural health.com.au. That's where you access all sorts of articles, freebies and more.