Pack Your Own Bag with Renée Jones

Today I welcome back Renée Jones for a deeper discussion of her work around comfort eating.  She calls her approach "Pack Your Own Bag," which means to release the emotional baggage that's been packed for you as you have grown up. Sometimes we need to unpack some things in order to pack your own bag for the journey you want to be on, not the one you stumbled into.

Overcoming emotional eating isn't hard, you just have to get the HANG of it:
H - Am Ihungry?
A - What is my attraction to food right now?
N - What do I actually need?
G - Go get it!

Renée has written a book to overcome emotional eating, available on Amazon: "What's Really Eating You?"

Renée has a bonus for you to begin to overcome emotional eating on her website: https://packyourownbag.com/friends/

Connect with Renée:
On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PackYourOwnBag/
On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/packyourownbag/
On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgaVSkAVckWNU9-95AjVOAg

Connect with Magic:

A Magical Life Podcast on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amagicallifepodcast/

On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wholisticnaturalhealth/

Online: https://wholisticnaturalhealth.com.au

A Subito Media production

Transcript

Magic Barclay: 0:58

welcome back to a magical life. I'm your host magic Barclay, and I'm again, joined by the fantastic Renee Jones. Renee is the bestselling author of what's really eating. You overcome the triggers of comfort eating. She delivers Ted talks with over 570,000 views. And she's going to teach us today about how to pack our own bag. Welcome back Renee.

Renee Jones: 1:27

Thank you for having mega

Magic Barclay: 1:29

pleasure. Now I've had a poke around your website and I mentioned to you, it was a great website. I really loved it. And this is a topic that really hits home and, and very close to me of emotional eating and really having that baggage and recognizing what it is. So can you tell us more about what you do and about your book? And how we can pack our own bag.

Renee Jones: 2:01

Well, that, that title came from my thought that a lot of our baggage emotional baggage gets packed for us as we come up through life. And sometimes we have to unpack a few things that we no longer need in order to pack our own bag for the journey we want to be on rather than the one we kind of stumbled into. So I think. Part of, of what I do. I am a coach and I help women primarily if you men overcome emotional or comfort eating so that they can lose the weight, they want to lose and maintain their goal. My book really came out of my own journey toward weight loss. Um, I decided to create something that I thought would help people figure it out on their own. If they wanted to, it starts with a quick-start guide for each chapter. And along the way, there's a shifting gears where we talk about things that they can do. And then it ends with a chapter with questions for your consideration, so that if you want to use it as a kind of workbook, you can, but it, it talks about. Every aspect of weight loss. Um, when I gave it to my editor, I initially had two chapters that were a little bit short and she said, okay, so your chapter on diet, its entirety is pick one. And your chapter on exercise. Its entirety is do some, we need a little more. So I had to go back and do some rewriting there to add in some things that would fill out the book. Shall we say? I think they're great chapters. I mean, they really sum it up don't they? Well, I'm, I'm not a nutritionist. I. No every diet going and when I was losing my weight, I was using a low fat, low calorie diet, but I was tired, hungry, and cranky all the time. And then I, I found a metabolic test. That really changed my life. So since the book came out, I have learned some things about how to help others. In fact, I give all my clients this metabolic tests so that they can know what would work best for their body, so that it will work for them. I mean, they can choose what they want to do. I don't, because I'm not a nutritionist. I don't say you have to do this, but it's just another tool that they can utilize to get where they want to go.

Magic Barclay: 4:36

That's fantastic. Now, I guess my question to you would be, how did you realize that emotional baggage was part of your problem? Well, once I, uh, I, I just sort of stumbled over it actually. Cause I was trying to lose the weight and one person said it was, if it was your new year's resolution, you broke it by the 15th of January.

Renee Jones: 5:03

Why did you continue? I said, because it was still a resolution I had more year left, so I just kept starting it over and over and over again. But when I got to April and I needed a bigger size, I thought, okay, we've got to figure this out. Cause this is not going in the right direction. Right. So I was just doing some research and I ran across, uh, the words, emotional eating, I thought, oh, that's me. That's what I'm doing. It just, I, I hadn't put, I know it sounds ridiculous. I hadn't put the two together. Um, I knew that when I got upset, I would go get some food, but I didn't realize it was a thing as such. So then I started looking for help on that specific issue. And that's when I hired my first. And what light bulb moments did you find when you started working with that coach? Like what really stood out that maybe before you dismissed? Well, Hey, she was really good and. In fact, I said to her one day, I said, okay, brutal me this, I've got this thing about peanut butter and I wish I could have recorded what she said. Cause I do not remember in any way, shape or form what she said, but from that moment on peanut butter was not nearly as important to me. So recognizing that sometimes just a little bit of a shift in mindset can change everything. It was one thing. Another thing was that when I looked at things from someone else's perspective, It changed how I felt about it, because I could get more information. I think sometimes we just hold things so close to ourselves because it's how we've always done it. This is the way it's meant to be. Right. And we hold it and don't want anybody to touch it or take it away from us. But if we just kind of opened that moment and let them say, oh, well, what if you tried this, then it can free up. But very often we get too caught up in wanting to hold on to our stuff rather than getting free of it. And it's a hard thing to overcome. Um, much of the time throughout my weight loss journey, I was, I had this. And it was face your stuff, don't stuff your face. And it really helped me because it reminded me to then go, okay, I'm just looking to stuff down what I'm feeling, and I don't want to look at and follow it with a food chaser. So let's do something different

Magic Barclay: 7:49

that. Such a good line was writing it down as you said it. So I think many people see their baggage just as a bad thing, but with every bad thing in a verdict commerce, there's a good thing that we can learn from it. So for myself, I used to secret. Uh, potato chips were always my go-to because of the salt. I just needed the crunch and the salt, but I didn't want my kids to see me eating the chips. So I would hide in the cupboard and secret eight. And I saw that as a bad thing until I learned that the good thing was. I could now research, why was I craving so much salt? So I realized that my adrenals were out of whack. I needed the salt to make my hormones. And there was an actual reason why that is what I was craving. But I think from that, I realized I didn't want my kids to see that I wasn't perfect. I didn't want them to see that I was lacking. Hormone resilience. And so I was craving salt because mommy was on a pedestal. Mommy could do no wrong. And I really needed to keep that secret that I wasn't invincible. So I think many people just see the bad thing without seeing the good thing. How would you suggest that people see both sides

Renee Jones: 9:27

knowing that there are two sides to everything? Um, very often even emotional eating can be for good reasons, positive and happy reasons. Think of holidays. Think of feast days we celebrate with food. So there, there are always two sides to it and we get to choose which one works for us and which one we're going to let it get away with hurting us because we have that choice always. Just like, you know, if you're craving something very often, there's a need there, your body needs something. You just don't know how to fill it yet. And there are plenty of options for making something better. As well as there are plenty of food companies that have figured out the bliss point, which has sugar, salt, and fat. And then that's when we cannot stop. When there's a food that you just cannot stop eating, there's usually a perfect combination of sugar, salt, and fat to it. It's engineered that way to keep you eating that same thing. Well, that's great for the company. It's not so great for your body, but it also tells you, okay, now I know this about myself and I need to stay away from that. And perhaps I can get my salt and fat sugar, sweet whatever in a different way so that it doesn't affect me in a negative way. You can take responsibility for what's going on and also. Take yourself in hand to do things better for you. One of the things that I often say is that when we make good choices, we don't have the wrap around guilt of going off the deep end and you just feel better with that.

Magic Barclay: 11:25

Totally. Tell me more about your Ted talks. So many views over 570,000 views. What inspired you to give a Ted talk? And what do you cover in it?

Renee Jones: 11:42

The funny thing magic is exactly a year before my husband came in and said, Hey, I think maybe you ought to think about speaking. And I was like, I'm never going to be a SP. Because, you know, that, that just wasn't my thing. And then I was contacted by, someone that I had worked with a bit before and they said, Hey, I'm doing a speaking, uh, training. Would you like to come along? I was like, no, but yes. Then I got into a speaking showcase, learned a lot there, and then they were like, you need to try for this TEDx talk. This one is a good place for you to try because they had suggested we, we do it before. And my entire plan around that was to go to a place I'd never been before. So I. Applied to like 20 different places. And I remember getting this email back from the people in Rhode Island. I live in Texas and they said, what's your connection to Rhode Island? And I had to say, you know what? I never been there before. I thought it'd be a nice place to visit. So I got rejected because apparently they liked people to be nearer, local type people. Um, and then this friend said, Hey, tried this one. And they took me. So the TEDx stock was on, um, losing your weight and keeping it off overcoming emotional eating And I don't know where 570, some odd thousand people came from. Cause I ran out of friends at about 150, but I've just watched it and it's just fascinating to watch it grow because there's absolutely nothing I can do to increase that number. It's completely organic.

Magic Barclay: 13:32

I love that. Now you just mentioned a great word they're friends. So when we're on our. Weight loss journey or trying to find ourself or free ourselves of our, our baggage. What we often find is that other people's agendas come into play friends and family. Hm. I know I was for a little while the skinny chick, I was too skinny that made my regular friends. Look healthier. And then I became the fat chick that made my regular friends look healthier and feel better about themselves. And I couldn't understand why certain people wanted to be around me and it wasn't till I saw that they weren't actually there for me. And it was more that I made them look better that I had to reevaluate my friendship groups, same with family. So how do you suggest that people. Look at the people around them and distinguish, are they helping or are they hindering?

Renee Jones: 14:38

How do you feel when you're around them? That's usually a really good indicator, but I kind of put friends in three categories. Some are people who you just click with and they're comfortable to be around, you know, they're lifelong friends. Um, some are friends that you want to have. And some are friends that you admire and want to be more like, um, and at times we can all be in all three categories, I think, but it is. I think it's important if you want to. Grow and learn. It's important to have a goodly number of people you want to be like, because, you know, they say you become like the five people you spend the most time with. So be careful with those five

Magic Barclay: 15:30

very much. So. So who are the five people that you have around you the most. And are they helping you on your health journey? Are they helping you create personal wealth or are they your baggage? You really have to look at who you're surrounding yourself with.

Renee Jones: 15:53

Indeed, indeed. Be kind to people, but just monitor the amount of time you spend with people who need you. So that you've got plenty, you know, you're, you're careful with your own energy and your own, uh, growth, but also recognize that even if you're with someone, because you admire them and want to learn from them, that you need to also give back to them. And that comes from being your best self. So that takes us to our next point, designing your best self. So we talk about goal-setting and goal-achieving, but you really do have to design what your best self looks like. So as a coach, how do you help people get from point a to scene where point B. Well, one of the things that I do with all my clients is I give them a personality profile and I was talking to a lady who was not a client. Um, she's more of a colleague, but I had asked her if she had ever done this particular persona profile, she said, oh yeah, I wasn't very pleased with that. I said, well, And she started telling me, well, it told me I had this quality in this car and just didn't feel great. I said, oh, so you're thinking about the unhealthy versus moderately healthy, not the best that type can be. Oh, I hadn't thought about that. So it's helpful to give them a scale because, you know, I know where I am on my personality type and. I know when I'm, I'm kind of degrading a little bit, the evolving a little bit and where I am when I'm at my best. And it's, it's fun to find ways to put your hands around it. Someone told me, oh yeah, your personality type when you're in this part is. Model that screenwriters use for the best friend and every romantic comedy. I was like, really? They said, yeah. I said, I liked that. And it just gave me something to hold on to. You know, of, this is who I can be. I can be wise. I can be grounded. I can be helpful. I'm definitely loyal. So just looking and trying to build those qualities even more helps you grow.

Magic Barclay: 18:23

That is life-changing information actually.

Renee Jones: 18:27

Yeah. Yeah. It certainly can be because it makes some things normal, maybe not normal for the world, but definitely normal for you and your personality. And that's so freeing because it means you're not wrong. You're just being who you are and that's okay. Let's find a way to make that the best.

Magic Barclay: 18:48

Exactly. I really love the analogy of the screenwriters and the character. So what sort of character are you being, you know, are you the hero rushing in to save people without any thought for self? Or are you the agitator, you know, that you feel good when other people. Don't or other people are distracted because you distracted them or are you the best friend or are you the doormat?

Renee Jones: 19:25

Like so many of us with emotional eating issues become that doormat person. We take all the punches. We take all the dirt from all the people. Because we want them to feel better, but we don't see what we're doing to ourselves. So there's so many different characters written into screenplays that you can see which type are you. And I think to some extent, you need to be a little bit of each one because you need to be balanced, but you know, you don't want people feeling bad so that you feel better. Vice versa. You don't want to feel bad, so they feel better. So you really have to look at where you are in the script. Mm. And it's really helpful if there's a film that you love, then identify you and the people around you in that film, who does that remind you of it again? It gives you a way to, to look at it different.

Magic Barclay: 20:31

So many of us comfort eight, mm. Now with everything going on in the world at the moment, there's certainly a lot more of that with lockdowns around the world. Food is still very accessible and a lot of people are comforting. So what are the best ways to realize. Or distinguished that you have a comfort eating issue that may be driving, not only weight gain, but weight loss.

Renee Jones: 21:03

Yeah. I think it's important when you know, comfort or emotionally Tang is eating for any reason other than actual home. Now, I don't know about you, but my wanter sometimes wants to eat, but I'm not physically hungry. So recognizing, okay. Am I hungry or not? In fact, I have an acronym and it's. The idea is overcoming emotional eating. Isn't hard. You just have to get the hang of it and hang as the acronym. So the H is, am I hungry? And if you are, you may need to get something to eat, but if you're not hungry, but you just want to eat, then go to the a, what is my attraction to food right now? Why am I going for that? If I'm not hungry, why do I want to eat? And the end is. Okay. So what is it that I actually need? You know, you may need a walk around the block. You may need to play with the dog. You may need a hug. You may need to, you know, sing for five minutes or, or shout for five minutes. Just something to move the energy around. What is it that you actually need in that moment? And then the G is go, go get that because that will Suze you much more than food ever possibly could. That's brilliant. That is absolutely brilliant. Well done. Thank you. That just came to me one day. I was like, Ooh, this is a great acronym.

Magic Barclay: 22:36

Love it. Now, Renee, people can get hold of you on Instagram at pack your own bag.

Renee Jones: 22:44

On Facebook at pack your own bag and YouTube, you have Renee Jones pack your own bag. What can people expect to see on YouTube? Um, I do video every week of my blog, so it's just ongoing ideas and, and tips. And, um, you know, sometimes it's seasonal. Sometimes it's just random thought that I had about how we can stay on track. I love that. Thank you so much for teaching us a little bit about and how to pack our own bag. And people are really recommend that you go and check out Renee's website, pack your own bag.com. There is some amazing stuff there. Her blog is there. How you can work with Renee is up there. It's just an amazing service. That Renee can provide for anyone, female, and male to really overcome comfort eating and emotional eating. I hope you've learned a lot out of this fantastic episode. I urge you all to go and have a look at Renee's YouTube. This was your episode 95 coming up in episode 96. We'll be talking about the science of fear. And there's so much of that at the moment, but we're going to really delve into what happens inside the brain and the body when you are fearful. Renee, thank you so much for your time and listeners go forth and create your magical life.