Divine Messy Human, Part 2 with Amanda Kate

Today's guest is Amanda Kate, Kinesiologist and author of Divine. Messy. Human. In this episode, Amanda and I will talk about internal scaffolding and how to fill yourself up in order to better be of service to the world around you.

Amanda is a recovering people pleaser who found that her self-flagellation habits had turned into chronic disease. After trying lots of different approaches to heal her plethora of issues, she found kinesiology as a way to clear emotional traumas, self-sabotage, abuse systems, and started breaking down belief systems that no longer served her.

She wholeheartedly believes that a whole-person approach is the only way to really grow your health and wealth, and by bringing each of your systems back into balance your body weight will stabilize as well.

Connect with Amanda:
https://www.facebook.com/amandakatetransformation
https://www.amandakate.com.au/coaching
https://www.instagram.com/amanda__kate
https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-kate/

Transcript

Magic Barclay: 0:59

Welcome back to a magical. I'm your host, magic Barky, and I'm again joined by Amanda Kate, who is a kinesiologist mentor mother and more. She's the author of Divine Messy Human Spiritual Guide to Prioritizing Internal Truth Over External Influence. Welcome back, Amanda. Kate.

Amanda Kate: 1:22

Thank you so much for having me. Magic. It's a real pleasure.

Magic Barclay: 1:26

Now, we referenced it in our last episode about internal scaffolding, and I really would like you to unpack that for this episode. What is internal scaffolding? How do you create it, and why do you need it?

Amanda Kate: 1:40

The internal scaffolding is something that I've been working with for a long time. I think I've only given really the words in the last few weeks or so, or last few months. It's been building as the idea. So often in life we get distracted by the noise outside. Everything is so bright and quick and fast moving and loud, and it assaults our sensors. If you think about our body physiology, we are built to move at walking pace most of the time. Maybe running. Something in between that we're not built to move at 60 kilometers an hour or a hundred kilometers an hour down a freeway. So the rate that we can process information is supposed to be at that walking pace, a much slower rate than we do now. And yet our senses are constantly being bombarded. And what happens is we get distracted from our internal landscape by all of that external. and one of the things that I have done myself and assist clients with is tapping back in. To our own needs and wants. What happens is we often spend a lot of time in our heads, we overthink, which is often the masculine and shadow, or we get into a bit of an airy fairy state, which is our. Feminine in shadow. So there's too much of those things going on. What I train to do is tap back into their body to start feeling into their heart space, feeling into their gut, and asking for cues, asking for signs about what their heart and gut actually want in life by turning that attention in. Doesn't make us selfish by the way. It makes us more self full. So selfish for me doesn't really exist. Selfishness is usually thrown at us as an insult or criticism by other people who are wanting something from us, which we either aren't prepared to give or can't give. That's usually when we hear that word. And people worry that if they give themselves what they need, they're going to be selfish. And so people go to the other extreme and do the selflessness. And selflessness has been lauded in society as this amazing, you know, that woman, so selfless, oh, that person is so selfless. But selflessness does what it says on the team. It makes less and less and less of ourself when we balance out. What we need and we prioritize that and we prioritize the things that feel good for us. Everybody else benefits from that. We give from a much more holistic space. We give from higher vibrational space. We allow ourselves. The permission to look after ourselves first. We keep hearing about the oxygen mask and making sure that ours is fitted before we help other people. And it is about that. It really is about filling ourselves up and that internal scaffolding is creating those internal behaviors that help keep us full. So oftentimes in self-care, I hear people talking about, you know, the supports that you need in your life. I get people to look more internally. What internal supports do you need? Because when life gets stressful, the things that we love, we enjoy, that light us up, that give us energy are usually the first things we drop and we get rid of out of our life because we don't have time. I get people to think of it the other way. If they keep doing the things that they love, if they keep writing or drawing or painting, or going for walks outside and connecting with nature, their internal reservoir will be so much more full to be able to provide the energy, to deal with the stresses, to deal with the busyness, to deal with the work. So it really is about keeping those internal reserve. Full and creating strong boundaries for ourselves so that we are able to be more fluid and more responsive in life rather than being more reactive. And the fuller our cup, the easier that is to do. So the internal scaffolding is a mix of boundaries and self-love and self-care and doing. That artistic, creative aspect of ourselves and connecting in with nature or whatever it is that lights us up. It's having a really good smattering of that throughout the day. Those times where we can tap in. So simple things like when we have a coffee, don't get it in a to go cup. Sit down, smell it, taste it, enjoy it. Have it as that little moment of filling you up. If you're going to the gym, have the intention that you are going to receive the full benefits and nurturing and nourishment of that. And your body will then open to receive, rather than having the gym feel like a, a chore. So using a lot of intention through our day to create these little moments of magic throughout the monotony of our day today.

Magic Barclay: 7:32

I think that's really key. You know, so many people self-sabotage. They go, look, I'm gonna go to the gym, but I hate it, so I'm not gonna do an hour. I might just do 45 minutes and half an hour in. They're like, I'm really not feeling this. I think I'll go home. And that's because they're not committing to themselves, they're not looking at the benefit this can give them. In your terminology, they haven't built that internal scaffolding to see what the gym can actually offer them.

Amanda Kate: 8:05

A hundred percent. And we do it with a lot of things all the time. Uh, we do it with our diets, we do it with, so many other aspects. Our relationships even. I actually put something out in, in my group the other day about that relationships and how we keep nurturing them and nourishing them because oftentimes those closest to us don't always get the best from us. Whereas if we have an intention every day to just show up as the best us we can be, then it actually simplifies things. And this is one of the things I think I've, I've realized more and more the more tools I have and the more. Processes I learn and everything. Actually, the more I'm stripping things away and becoming more and more simple. So every day it is, I have a few small questions I ask myself, and that's what I've limited it to. It's how can I show up more authentically today? What's the And oftentimes I'll just say to my guides, or God, who, whomever you believe in, I personally believe in, you know, the higher powers or go, show me the way I have this surrender in me that I don't know everything. I'm never gonna know everything. And that there are higher powers out there than me who can direct me and show me where I'm going wrong better. So I will often just say to them, show me the way. Show me the next. And so really simplified it down. I've also simplified my values down to one value. I'm not going for three values in my business and three values in my personal life. I've stripped it all back to one value. I've stripped back my goals to one single goal, which is about how can I be of divine service to the oneness. That's it. So every day, that is my one. Pinpoint, how can I be of defined service today? How can I show up better in every area of my life? Show me the way. And that's what I've simplified things down to. And so if you that to the gym, just show me the way. How can I gain. How can I be of divine service now in the gym example, me being of divine service, if I am fitter and healthier tomorrow than I am today, then I will be able to be of better service to myself and to others if I put that in my financial situation. How can I be of divine service to my finances? Am I putting a little bit away for the future? Am I frivolously spending? Am I, you know, there's a few simple questions I can ask around that. Am I serving myself the best way I can financially? Am I serving my relationships the best way I can? Am I showing up as the person I want to be? so I've really stripped everything back to that basics, and I think that's where the idea of the scaffolding came. Is it's that internal structure for me has become stronger, the less parts I've attached to

Magic Barclay: 11:23

Some great wisdom there, and no matter what you believe in God's source. Spirit, angels, whatever it is. If you don't believe in yourself, none of it matters. So this is why we're talking about internal scaffolding, that belief in yourself, that you are worth it, that you are someone that can affect change or can help people around you or help the planet or whatever. You have a higher purpose, and many people just get stuck in a rut that their purpose. Get up, go to work, eat, come home, say hello to the family. Go to bed, repeat. That's not purpose. That's not even living, that's existing and they're very, very different things.

Amanda Kate: 12:13

100% I am. So with you there, a lot of people think that purpose is something that you do when you've achieved X, Y, and Z, or when you've got so much money in your bank account or you know it's something you do in retirement or it's something other people do. We are all put here with our own internal. H sheet and only we can sing it. Only we know what it is. Some of the choices I have made in my life, other people have told me I'm mental and crazy for choosing them. Yet on every level of my being, I've known that they are the right choices for me, for my own internal story. And yes, sometimes that has shaken the status quo, but I am now living a purposeful life. That simplification of everything now that I do into basically those two words of divine service is giving me the compass to navigate my life, and it's not. Some days big and earth shatter. It doesn't need to be. Sometimes it is actually today I need to rest, or today I'd love to ring this person or spend time with this person. It doesn't always actually need to be this big. I'm gonna change the world purpose. And I think that's also what people get confused about when they think about their life purpose. I know when I first heard those words, it would freak me out. It would scare me. I don't know what my life purpose. I don't know what I wanna do when I grow up, and yet if we bring it back into the next moment, what feels good in this next moment? What is my next right step? Right now, a lot of those really big questions that. We look for external validation or we look for an answer externally on, we often know the answer internally. We're just too afraid to act on it. For example, I knew and I had to leave my marriage that I had to leave. I knew a lot sooner that I had to leave than I actually left, cuz I knew it was not nourishing me. I knew it was not the right choice, but I asked close, trusted advisors. I spent ages with a psychologist talking it through, how can I save this? How can I change this? How can I change me so that this doesn't break? And what happened was I had the answer in me all along. I knew what I needed to do. I was just too afraid to do. And with a lot of the other big questions I've had in my life, I have known deep down my answers. It has been my fear of other people's perceptions, or it has been my fear of judgment, or it has been my fear of rejection or abandonment that has stopped me from acting on it. Now, my purpose in life is just simply to trust that internal to take. Along the path it needs to take me and some of those paths will be dead ends, they will be mistakes. And that's part of the learning that I can add to my internal tapestry, which makes my life more colorful, more directioned, I dunno if that's a word, um, more clear on what I need to be bringing into the world. And that's what I now really, really trust. And that again, is what I help clients tap is what is their internal H sheet? Can they learn just a few notes a day to get them closer and closer to understanding what it is that lights them up to give them permission to actually do what lights them up? Cuz one of the big problems we have is we will not give ourselves permission. To do the things that we know we need to do that our heart and soul are for, and we suppress it or ignore it or reject it because we're afraid that we would then not be accepted by those around us.

Magic Barclay: 16:40

Beautifully said. Now we're going to wrap this episode up. What is some top tips that you have? For people creating their internal scaffolding.

Amanda Kate: 16:53

The first one is to look at what is happening with their own boundaries. Now, I used to think that boundaries were quite solid and fixed, like fences around a house, but I actually realized that boundaries are much more like a dance. What a boundary is. As it's very basic is what's okay versus what's not okay with you. Now, if we've had no sleep, that boundary's gonna move a little bit because our patients will be slower, lower. If we've had more sleep, we've got more energy, we're probably more more okay with doing more things. And so looking at what is okay for you and what is not okay for you and asking that question every day. If we are surrounded by people who disrespect us, well actually at the basis, is that okay with us? Or do we actually need to find people who give us a baseline of respect? Where does our boundaries sit on that? And so looking at what those boundaries can be, because for me, that creates then a container in which we can flourish. It's like making sure your pot plants are in the right size pot for them. Our boundaries are giving us the right size pot for our roots to grow enough and ground enough so that we can start growing up and touching our divine self more easily. The second thing is actually learning to drop out of our head and into our body to start giving ourself permission to feel what's going on, to feel our next step, to feel our emotions. Understanding that our, our emotions are not us. When we say I am angry, not angry. When we say I am angry, we don't allow room for anything else but anger. If we say, I feel angry, we are giving ourself a bit of space, a bit a breathing room for us to feel the emotion and process it. Well, why am I angry? What's making me angry? Is it okay that that's making me angry? And we're able, then again, to build that internal understanding of ourselves. And just naming those emotions can help us do that. Today I'm feeling a bit frustrated. I'm feeling a bit anxious. I'm also feeling excited if we can put a few names to those emotions that are going in us. We've become more friendly with our internal landscape. And we don't feel that we need to then be more in the future or more in the past. We can actually come into the present a lot more, which gives us greater nourishment in our relationships with ourself and with other people because we're actually present at that time. So they're probably the big two pointers that I've got.

Magic Barclay: 19:53

Beautiful. Now people can find you on Facebook at Amanda Kate Transformation. You're also on Instagram at Amanda, Kate and LinkedIn at Amanda hyphen. Kate, thank you so much for joining us for these episodes.

Amanda Kate: 20:09

Oh, thank you so much for having me. I love the work you bring into the world, so thank you so much for being your magical.

Magic Barclay: 20:16

Thank you listeners. Thank you so much for your time. This was your episode 1 53 in 1 54. Grace and Jelly is talking about breast cancer, a hero's journey, and for now, listeners, go forth and create your magical life.